All the people in the world

The call

It was 3:45 am when i got a call that changed my whole life.
I picked up my phone, even though I was barely awake and I clearly didn't know what was happening. "Hello, who is this? " I say while turning on my lamp to get some light in the room.
"It's me" I hear a deep but somehow fairly familiar voice say.
"Who is me? and why did you call at 2 in the morning?" It's obvious that I'm definitely not in the mood for this.
"It's your father, Mae. I'm in the hospital" I hear him say in a croaky voice almost as if he too had just woken up.
"What the hell? First of all you decide to call now, after not talking nor seeing me for 10 years. Second, what do you mean the hospital, and why would I fucking care where you are now if you've never given a shit where I am, or how I'm doing?" I say as I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face, because I'm probably not going to be able to go back to sleep.
"Ok, I'm sorry I wasn't there for u when u needed me, but I didn't call u for that reason."
"What do you want? Money? A heart?" I laugh at the last one knowing that he'll never have a heart.
"Your mothers in the hospital" I hear him say.
My what? No, no. My mother was just here, I saw her like a few hours ago. How? When? Where? All these questions running through my mind.
"Which hospital is she at?" I don't even bother questioning him again, I mean why else would my father call? but why did the hospital contact him and not me?
"She's at the one on Hartley Street" he says as I'm pulling a oversized sweatshirt over my head.

***
I lock my car as I sprint as fast as I can to the hospital doors. I see my father searching for me as I enter. Even though I was only 9 when he left us, I still recognise him, and his thick glasses. I always used to wait for him at my door after he left, hoping he'll come back and realise what a big mistake it was leaving his only family. But he never showed up, not once. You'd think he'd call, but he didn't, a few months passed and then I just gave up all my hope. Who cares, I didn't need my father, neither did my mother. We had each other and that's all we ever needed. He signals a hello, but I ignore him, so what now? He thinks that I can pretend like all those things never happened, I can just pretend that he never left us.

" listen, uh.. your mothers, um... in room 104, if you want to see her." I hear him say as he walks away. Yep, do the thing your good at, just fucking walk away like you always do.
I ask the receptionist where room 104 is and after she tells me I run, leaving not one second to waste. Everyone is looking at me like I'm a little kid who lost their mom at the grocery shop. I finally find room 104, but I catch myself stopping right at the door. Why am I stopping? I don't know yet what happened to my mother, but what if it was bad? How would I ever live with myself?
I open the door seeing my mother, what happened? I ask myself that question again. I walk over to the bed and sit on the chair next to it. I move the chair so it's facing my mother, and I place my hands on hers. "Hi" I say waiting for a response. "It's me, Mae"I start tearing up. She slowly moves, I see her eyes want to open, but they don't.
"Mae" she says it with all the power she has left.
"Yeah mom" I'm now crying
" Mae, I don't think I'll make it, but please don't cry, it'll be ok. I want you to be ok. Listen, sometimes in life things don't go as planned, but that shouldn't discourage us to give up on what really matters. Please, take good care of yourself, for me" my arms are now hugging her chest, like if I hug hard enough, she won't go. Like if I block the thought of her going, it won't happen. But I know that's not what she wants, I know.
She stays still for 15 minutes, then 30, it's been an hour. A nurse comes in, and so does a doctor, they check the blood pressure and everything else. My knees fall to the ground, everything in my entire body feels like it's just been struck by lightning as they start apologising as if that's going to bring her back to life.
" no, no. She's ok, right? She's going to be ok" I say as tears keep on rolling down my face.
" Your mother was in a car accident, which damaged a part of her brain..." they keep on talking but at this point I'm not listening, I can't listen. All I'm thinking of are all the memories, but not the good ones, the bad ones. The fights, the arguments, the times I said I hated her. I don't think of the good things, because I know they'll never happen again. I know that I should've done a lot of things, but I didn't. I should've been a better daughter. But I wasn't, and now I'll never get the chance to.
***
I exit the room in the morning, as I see my mother for the last time. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to stay longer, because the more I stay, the more it hurts to say goodbye. Never in a million years did I think, today I would have to say goodbye. I leave the hospital and get into my car, with only one thought in my mind, I need to get out of here.