Hi y'all. It's been a long, long time since I've updated. It's been seven hard months for me and I wanna tell you all why it's taking so long to finish the next chapter.
Soon after I published the last chapter, school started piling up on me. I was slaving through my finals so I could finish high school and graduate, which I thankfully succeeded in. Since then though, I've hit a wall in the final scene of the chapter. No matter what I change and no matter how many different approaches I take, I'm just not satisfied with the scene and I'm too stubborn to remove it because it's very important to me.
On top of that though, in recent months, my mental health has started to decline and it went down fast. I'm back in therapy and I'm starting antidepressants soon, but it's been a rough three months mentally. Motivation is really hard to come by nowadays and even when I do have it, I'm at the same wall with the scene I refuse to give up.
Despite being where I am right now, I know where my priorities lie and I know that I always come first. I do not want to give up on this story, but I need to take care of myself and get my life back on track. I can't thank you enough for the support on this book. I am so grateful for all the kind comments and for all the people interested enough to wait months on end for my work.
I can't promise when the next chapter will be complete, but I come offering gifts in exchange: First, I have made Kei and Tadashi's playlists on Spotify for you all to listen to. My taste in music is kinda lame, but I hope you enjoy them nonetheless.
"Kei and Tadashi's Playlist for Good Vibes": https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hmS4iONTCcu3GFfMaGXmb?si=0ZCJAvLZRAu1t7fQGjroKA
"Tsukki💕": https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pDkJYBTdtXj3k9qoFWqU7?si=ZblADz6NQ3C6ZVwW6AyVLg
"Boys Don't Cry": I have to put a content warning for this one. This is the playlist Tsukki listens to when he's having a mental breakdown. There's one song that mentions some pretty violent self harm. It's called "I Deserve to Bleed". https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7tSyiqMp6kO33ecjAGuhNF?si=CzEs3FALSq-XSOnK7_wrqA
If you guys have any suggestions for the playlists, I'd absolutely love to hear them and if I like them I'll add them. I'd love you guys to be involved in the playlists too.
Second, I have a deleted scene I would like to share. It was supposed to be in the last chapter, but I wasn't satisfied with the quality, so I removed it. I posted it on my Instagram in a post when I published the chapter, but I don't think many people saw it. To the one person who did and commented on it, I love you so much and appreciate you more than you know.
Before I go, thank you all one last time for being patient with me. I'll be back one day. I love you all so much. ❤️
•••
~Akiteru~
Waking up after the surgery was a little jarring. I walked into the hospital, then next thing I knew, I was in the ICU. 6 hours passed in what felt like a blink of an eye. I had a tube connected to my nose that was flowing oxygen into my lungs and my abdomen hurt a lot from the large incision, along with my throat. I felt groggy. I stared up at the ceiling and tried not to move too much.
"Hey, Aki," a voice to my right spoke.
I looked towards the familiar voice and smiled, "Tenma..."
He pulled his chair closer and pushed my hair to the side, "How do you feel?"
"I'm alright." I reached my arms out to hug him, "What are you doing here?"
He hugged me back, "I wanted to surprise you," he said. "I told them I was your roommate and your mom vouched for me so they'd let me in." He pulled away and took my hand, "Sorry I couldn't make it before your surgery. There was traffic."
"It's okay," I said. "Were you worried about me?"
Tenma looked to the side, "Mm... Maybe."
I giggled and squeezed his hand, "Cute."
He knit his eyebrows together, "Shut-up. You're high."
I leaned closer to him, as far as I could without it hurting too much, "Gimme a kiss..."
Tenma chuckled and gently and pecked my lips. Around that time, a nurse came into the room and Tenma pulled away. I pouted and let out a little grumble. I leaned back and turned my attention to the nurse.
They checked my condition and asked me how I was doing.
"Where's Kei?" was all I said.
"He went in the OR just an hour ago."
I was given some pain medication through an IV since I wasn't able to swallow yet. The nurse talked to Tenma about a few things like what to watch out for and how to take care of me.
"When will my brother be done?" I asked.
"In about five hours. Try not to worry about him. Your brother is being taken care of."
YOU ARE READING
Sober (TsukkiYama Angst)
Fanfiction⚠️Trigger warnings⚠️ Descriptions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, addiction, mild drug use, and brief underage drinking. "Hey, I want to start this by saying, don't cry for me. I always hated being the cause of all your pain, so...
