8 Years [ENGV]

#1

JISOO

I left another meeting. I loved my job, I loved acting, but my routine had been repetitive and boring lately, nothing was happening... After Black Pink, the pain and bitterness — which were still there, but I didn't allow myself to feel them — had resurfaced, perhaps because I had never really faced that much pain.

I got into my car and picked up my cell phone, looking at the date. January 11, 2025... It had been exactly 8 years since everything had happened, and I could clearly remember everything. I could feel the unbearable pain, the tears escaping from the sides of my eyes, my vision blurring and when it was all over. I remember waking up and receiving the news that knocked me off my feet and completely changed my life, but at the time, I didn't give it much importance and saw it as a second chance.

A fight was happening inside of me as I forced myself to not cry. My phone rang, making a photo of me with Lisa flash on the screen.

"Hello..." Lisa said excitedly on the other end of the line. "How is my favorite Unnie?" I took a deep breath.

"I am fine..." Lalisa soon realized that something wasn't right and smacked her mouth.

"Oh, Jisoonie. I know something's wrong." I sighed. "What happened?"

"Today is January 11th, Lisa." She seemed speechless, and I could imagine her mouth open and blinking several times, trying to say something. "You don't have to say anything." I sniffed, not having noticed when rebellious tears rolled down my face against my will.

"I'm sorry, Jisoonie, I didn't know, I forgot-"

"It's okay, Lisa... Just like every year, I'm just going to go home and have some wine."

"To fall asleep quickly, right?" I denied.

"It doesn't have that effect anymore." I swallowed hard. "But why did you call me?"

"I just wanted to talk to you and check if everything was okay, I don't think it was a good day for that." I denied.

"Don't worry, I'm fine and if you're wondering if I'll do it again, I won't."

In a desperate attempt to escape all this pain that consumed me every day, I almost took my own life. Jennie showed up at my house and saved me, she was so angry, worried, and sad with me that I promised myself and her that I would never do something like that again.

"Hey, what do you think about the four of us making a phone call? Or five if Rosé is with Suzy." I laughed.

"She probably will be, they're married, or did you forget?" Lisa laughed.

"No, I didn't forget... But what do you think?"

"Sorry, but can we do it tomorrow? Today, I really want to be alone." She didn't seem very happy about the possibility of me being alone today, but she didn't say anything back. We said goodbye briefly and I headed home, trying to get the memories of that day out of my mind.

I parked in my parking space in the building, got out of the car, grabbed my bag, and closed the door, locking it. I took the elevator up to the hallway of my apartment and walked a few meters to the door. It wasn't luxurious, but it was big enough for me, who lived there alone, and really rare to have some visitors.

Throwing my bag anywhere, I walked towards the bathroom, taking off my clothes and leaving them along the way. I stepped into the shower, letting the cold water wash away all the physical fatigue, hoping that with that bath I would feel better. Obviously, I would be more comfortable, but I would still need the wine to comfort me inside. I didn't bother putting on pajamas, or any clothes underneath, I just wrapped myself in the robe, tied my hair in a bun and went to my kitchen to look for the wine.