Blind Channel One Shot Stories

Spiced Pumpkin - Tommi

Pov: Tommi 

Plot: Tommi enjoys his Halloween day with his grandma, but after that something weird happens, he realizes that nothing went as he thought 

"Are you sure you don't want to come to that party? It's gonna be fun!" Aleksi asks me, while we go out of the recording studio.

"You know I never say no to food, alcohol and music, but on Halloween I prefer to avoid" I say, closing the door behind my back "I have better plans for tonight"

"What plans can be better than these?"

"A candlelight dinner certainly is!" I laugh.

Aleksi and I walk together to our cars. The cold wind of late October cuts the air in two, and forces me to take shelter in my warm winter scarf. Along the way, we already meet some kids disguised as vampires or witches with their candy bags ready to be filled.

I was never a big fan of disguises and candies, even as a kid. I found ridiculous the idea of having to disguise myself as something so scary and elaborate to receive two sugary candies that I could buy myself in the supermarket. Cynical but fair.

"Who's the lucky girl?" Aleksi is pressing.

"My grandma"

"No, come on, Tommi, seriously."

"My grandma" I repeat, slightly annoyed by the fact that he did not take my answer seriously.

"You won't tell me how big you are, you're afraid of ghosts" he laughs.

"Yesterday it was her birthday" I say, while looking for the keys inside the pouch "We celebrate it by spending Halloween together every year." My grandmother was never a big fan of celebrations, she always said that seeing candles on the cake made her anxious and recieving gifts, embarrassed her. She always preferred to celebrate with us grandchildren on Halloween's day, when we all went to visit her. Over the years, I realized that usually a hot chocolate and her favorite movie, are enough to make her feel happy and fulfilled, and so we continued to celebrate her day in simplicity.

"Well then, if so, wish her all the best from me too"

Aleksi and I say goodbye, we all spent the weekend in the studio working on new music together with the others. I'm so tired I'll probably fall down before midnight tonight.

Between tours, festivals and studio days to create new music, I have so many commitments that I can no longer spend much time with her as I have always done or as I wanted to do.

Manage all these new commitments and try to make them coincide with my pace is harder than I thought. There are days when I get up and wonder if I'm really doing what makes me happy, or if I'm just trying to fill my calendar to feel less alone.

Every time my doubts come up, I just sit behind the drums and kick them out. The emotions that I feel when I play are so strong that every worry or thought vanishes. nothing makes me feel so alive like music, nothing makes me so strong and so weak at the same time, nothing makes my heart explode with feeling like playing.

It is a form of love different from the others, perhaps more complex to understand for those who do not live it: Music consumes you, tires you, but at the same time it renews you and reinvents you. I leave a piece of me in every song, but I feel whole. I'm talking about me, my hidden sides and my weaknesses, without actually doing it. I spend all my energy, but the intensity with which I love never changes. All I have to do is play, alone, in my house, to understand that this is my happiness, and that as long as I continue to do so, I will never get lost.