Shot A Kid.

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Y/N: (It's been about 3-4 months since I joined I.M.P, and I actually quite like it here. Millie is funny, Moxxie's actually great for random facts that no one really knows or cares about, Loona is.....warming up to me. She stopped ignoring me yesterday, even made a slight 'Hm.' when I walked in and said hi to everyone. Blitzø....he's a character. Turns out my job is basically to be his errand boy. Make sure no creepy fucks wander in unannounced, protect when asked to...oh, and bring him anything he asks basically the second he asks for it, otherwise he gets annoyed. He's not bad, just...his standards are a little high considering he gave a random Hound who walked into the door a job.

Besides that, though...nothings really happened. Sure, we've had a few jobs, but that's basically it. I did steal a big ass revolver on a mission, though. I'm calling it my Handcannon. Other than that, I think the only thing I've really done is wait around and talk to people. But that's what Blitzø called us into the meeting room to talk about.

Blitzø: "Look, I know business has been a little...slow, lately-"

Y/N: "Why are there so many seats and only five of us?"

Blitzø: "I don't know, maybe I was planning on having more employees, if you used your brain for a second, you'd notice that. Now, it's no one's fault, okay, I'm not naming any names here...moxxie, now does anyone have any ideas on how we can get business drummin up again??"

Moxxie looked at Blitzø like "Wtf did I do??", while Millie throws an idea out there.

Millie: "Oh! What about...a car wash!?"

Blitzø: "This is hell, Millie, no one cares about cars being clean here."

Y/N: "I don't know, what if we did something like 'Buy one, get one free'?"

Blitzø: "...What the fuck is that??"

Y/N: "Like, buy a kill, get another one. free."

Blitzø: "You expect me to just GIVE people business??"

Y/N: "Seems to work well in the Human World."

Blitzø: "...Ooh! What about a Billboard??"

Moxxie: "We can't afford another billboard, sir."

Blitzø zips over to Moxxie, throwing arm over his shoulder.

Blitzø: "Helpful, Moxxie, really glad you're in the room right now."

Blitzø pushes Moxxie off his chair before addressing everyone else in the room.

Blitzø: "Have you guys forgotten what service we provide??"

Blitzø pulls out a remote from who the fuck knows where and turns on a TV that Y/N had never even known existed, before playing a very gory ad with a compilation of basically murder, and eating from a bowl of popcorn.

Y/N: "When the fuck did you have time to make that?? Wait..*sniff* Never mind. Stale."

Despite this comment, Loona and Millie still ate some, and seemed to enjoy it.

Moxxie: "I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week, the same one that you ADDITIONALLY paid to have run for a full three hours, on a channel NOBODY WATCHES!"

Blitzø: "Uh, hey, excuse me! What's obnoxious about a super fun jungle, alright?? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement is spittin bullshit!"

Millie: "People love musicals, sir!"

Blitzø: "Exactly, Millie! And we're basically just...doin a musical! Are you gonna crush my musical dreams just like my dad did?"

Y/N: (Musicals...I should go to one. She'd want me to. Maybe it'll brighten up my- no, that's just bullshit.)

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