Helluva Bodyguard! (Male Hellhound Reader X Helluva Boss)

Phycho Rednecks!

"You do everything right in life, play by ALL the rules....and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world, after one measly massacre propelled by blind rage. So that's why I'm here. To get my revenge."

Blitzø: "Well, I mean....WAS she hotter?"

"Wha-"

Blitzø: "I'm just saying, I'm having a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, Tits."

Blitzø noticed the client getting angrier, so he decided to continue. Why?...because fuck you, that's why.

Blitzø: "Anywaaay, I don't think your really understand how we're operating down here, see, we take revenge out on the LIVING! And it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of a death, frankly, are all probably down here, in Hell, with you. Boop!"

Blitzø lightly pokes her on her nose and she smacks his hand away, walking closer.

"Not ALL of them. That whore survived! Now they all call her a hero. They call ME crazy! Between the talkshows, the huge checks that came from literally nowhere, and all the donation bullshit, she made so much goddamm cash, getting shot was the best thing to happen to her! Everyone praising her, hyping her up, 'Oh, you're such a hero!' 'My moms a hero!' even in bed she's constantly told how brave she is, but she is not a FUCKING HERO!"

Blitzø: "Mhm, okay, yeah, uh-huh, my thoughts exactly!"

Blitzø starts spamming one of the many buttons on his desk, this one being 'Deranged Client', which sent multiple notifications into Y/N's phone, but he was too busy watching Moxxie have a midlife crisis over shooting a photo of a family.

Millie: "Moxxie, stop shakin, you're gonna shoot our only Hellhound!"

Loona was lying on her back, scrolling on her phone, holding up the photo with her other hand, while Y/N had his chin on the armrest next to her head, watching Loona scroll endlessly while he waits for Moxxie to take the damn shot.

Loona: "Wow, I feel SO loved here."

Y/N: "Wow, Mill, thanks for forgetting about my existence."

Loona: "I thought you were used to that. And you're pretty forgettable. Even I forgot you were here."

Y/N: "Oh, Loo-Loo, you hurt me so much. How will I ever financially recover from this?"

Millie: "Mox, just take a deep breath- *Literally takes the most exaggerated breath the world has ever seen* -and let it out!"

Moxxie: "But it's a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family??"

Y/N: "Maybe when someone spills a drunk on Loona's shirt. She'll probably hunt down their entire bloodline. For what would she be, without her Goth Aesthetic."

Loona: "Fuck you."

Y/N: "Why, because I'm right?"

Loona: "....You're one to talk. You're always wearing a choker, a sleeveless hoodie, and ripped jeans."

Y/N: "Don't come at me because I'm sexy, okay. If you're jelly, just say that."

Loona: "I hate you so much."

Y/N: "Likewise, Tiffany. Likewise."

Loona: "Tiffany??"

Y/N: "You act like a Tiffany. So I'm calling you Tiffany."

Loona: "Wha-"

Millie: "Moxxie, if it's what the client wants-"

Moxxie: "Maybe like a shitty dad...or a mob family. That's understandable. But to eradicate an entire innocent, seemingly innocent, human family??"