Helluva Bodyguard! (Male Hellhound Reader X Helluva Boss)

Spring Break O.N.S.

Y/N: "No, Loona, dodge that way-you're dodging into them!"

Loona: "What way am I supposed to fucking dodge?? THERE'S THREE OF THEM!"

Y/N: "The one with the red eyes is helping you, let him agro the other one so you can fight the actual boss-no don't hit him-"

Loona: "What do you mean don't fucking hit him?! Which one do I have to kill the beat them?!"

Y/N: "The one with the big ass health bar at the bottom of the-nevermind, he killed both of them for you....oh, by the way, there's a second phase."

Loona: "What the fuck does that me-HIS SWORD ON FIRE! HOW THE FUCK DID HE LIGHT HIS SWORD ON FIRE??"

Y/N: "Loona don't-no dodge through the attack not away-Loona no!"

Y/N: "......."

Loona: "........You're a terrible teacher."

Y/N: "No, you're just bad at this game. Bet Moxxie could do it."

Loona: "....You really think Moxxie could do better than me?"

Y/N: "With my awesome coaching, he could probably clear them first try."

Loona: "...Wanna bet?"

Y/N: "......No, why the fuck would I-"

Loona: "Pussy."

Y/N: "......."
________________________________

Y/N: "Okay Mox. What kinda class do you want?"

Moxxie: "Considering most historical battle were won with strategy and tactics, High Intelligence so I can outsmart my opponents."

Y/N: "So you want to run a Mage Build?"

Moxxie: "No. Magic sounds too complicated. Would there be a way to attack my enemy from afar? Using distance and tactical placements to my advantage?"

Y/N: ".....You want to use a bow....?"

Moxxie: "Precisely."

Y/N: ".....But why go for Intelligence if you're not using any magic...?"

Moxxie: "I....already told you that."

Y/N: "Moxxie, YOU control your character, you're the only one using any strategy or tactics, your character will not benefit from high intelligence if you don't use magic!"

Moxxie: "But wouldn't it be best for my character to resemble me as much as possible?"

Y/N: "Moxxie, my first character was a fucking Asian Viking I named 'Skeolt', it literally doesn't matter."

Moxxie: "Well it matters to me!"

Y/N: ".....I'm so fucked. Tell me you atleast want a Dagger or a Shortsword for when they get too close? Please?"

Moxxie: "No, I'll be fine with a bow-"

Y/N gives Moxxie the controller and takes out his wallet, giving Loona $50 before taking the controller back and painfully shooting his way through Firelink, Undead Settlement, and Farron Keep, finally stopping upon reaching the Farron Keep Perimeter Bonfire.

Y/N: "Moxxie. I hope you experience as much pain as I did getting you here."

Moxxie: "Maybe it would've been easier if you used the pointers I gave you. Using more strategic-"