Lisa
I drove straight to Jin's apartment after work with six bottles of wine. When Jin answered the door, his eyes fell on the bag. "Long day?"
"Extremely. Plus, there was a deal and I had to buy six bottles."
"Had to, huh?" He asked as I pushed past him into the apartment.
"Wow." I commented, looking around their apartment. "You've got... a lot of Christmas in here." I uncorked a bottle of wine with a Santa corkscrew and poured us both glasses with snowflake designs. "Jesus, is everything Christmas now?"
Jin accepted his glass and plopped down on the couch, moving the Christmas decorated pillows. "Yes. Jennie decorated last weekend."
"It looks like an elf threw up in here."
Jin shrugged. "It's nice. Plus Jennie loves Christmas. You know that."
"Yeah, but it looks like she has more decorations than last year. Like way more."
"Of course she does. She always buys more."
"How does she already have more? It's only the 2nd of December!"
"Jennie goes Christmas shopping in November."
"She's one of those people."
"She's obsessed."
"Apparently."
"Let me guess: your apartment has nothing Christmas in it."
"You would be correct."
"What's your aversion to Christmas?"
"I don't have an aversion to Christmas. I just don't like to decorate. It takes too much time and I don't have money to buy things like...." I gestured to the apartment as a whole. "Garlands and Department 56's - A Christmas Carol collection."
"Well yes, that was expensive." Jin took a sip of wine. "So how's operation 'Find a Fake Girlfriend' going?"
"Horrible. I haven't found anyone yet. Have you?"
"No. Everyone is either busy or..."
"Weirded out by the whole thing?"
"Exactly."
"So what do I do?"
"Can you bail?"
"No, I already RSVPed for two."
Jin sipped on his wine thoughtfully. "Let's make a Craigslist ad."
"That doesn't sound safe."
"We'll meet whoever agrees beforehand and I'll make sure that they're not some serial killer."
I sighed. "Okay fine. I'm out of options anyway. But if this ends badly and I get murdered, I'm totally blaming you."
"If you're so worried about being murdered, then you should just make a Bumble and Tinder profile. I bet you can find someone that way."
I shook my head. "Nothing good has ever come from me using either of those apps. Remember Tzuyu? Plus, I think I've dated every gay girl in this town; every lesbian is like, two permutations away from each other."
Jin cringed. "Okay, no dating apps then. Let's just try Craigslist." Jin pulled out his laptop and we created a post pleading for a date. It was removed almost an hour later. "Okay, so apparently you can't solicit a date as a 'gig'. I now see my mistake."
I groaned and poured myself a fourth glass of wine. This ordeal was turning me into quite the alcoholic. "What am I going to do? Why is it so hard to find a fake girlfriend for one night? How does everyone already have plans for the 18th? Why doesn't anyone want to be my fake girlfriend for the night? Am I ugly? Is my personality terrible? You can tell me Jin, be honest. Am I the worst?"
"Oh my God, you need to calm down. You're beautiful. You have a lovely personality. You know I would date you, if I was straight. The reason you can't find a date is because people have lives and families and real girlfriends that they already have plans with."
"Don't you have like a friend of a friend of a friend that will go with me? A cousin? A second cousin? A barista?"
Jin looked to the ceiling in thought and tapped his finger against his glass when the apartment door burst open. Jennie walked in, kicked off her boots and shrugged off her heavy winter coat.
"There's wine on the counter." I said.
"Thanks." Jennie poured a full glass and joined us on the couch. "Have you eaten?"
"Nope." Jin said.
"Are you drunk already?"
"Yup."
Jennie shook her head. "I'll order takeout."
Jin leaned a head on his sister's shoulder. "You're an angel."
Jennie sighed and pulled out her phone. Jin and I returned to the problem at hand.
"You know, if people didn't know that you were a raging lesbian, I could have gone to the party with you." Jin said.
"Are you kidding me? You're gayer than I am. If anyone thought I was straight and I brought you, they would question my sexuality."
Jin laughed.
"What are you guys talking about?" Jennie asked, lifting her head and sipping her wine.
"This bitch..." Jin said, while pointing at me. "Got caught in a web of lies."
I explained my situation to Jennie, who laughed. "That is wonderful. I needed that laugh after today. Thank you, Lisa."
I scowled at her.
"So no luck finding a date?" Jennie asked.
"Absolutely none."
Jennie laughed again and took another sip of wine. "I'm not surprised that you got yourself into this mess."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're you." Jennie said, gesturing vaguely to me.
"Gee, thanks." I rolled my eyes. I sat for a moment then snapped my fingers. "What about you two? Do you have any co-workers that would go with me?"
Jin thought a moment. "I could ask."
"You don't want to go to a party with a stuffy lawyer. Believe me, the entire night will be filled with bad lawyer jokes and them explaining all the ways that they could sue you." Jennie said.
"You must pretty delightful at parties." I said. Jennie smirked. "Seriously, there aren't any people you work with, that would go with me?"
"You really don't want to go with anyone at the firm. Trust me."
"I would rather go with a boring lawyer than face Nancy. Trust me."
Jennie sighed. "Fine, I'll see if anyone is interested."
"You could ask one of the baristas at the Starbucks that you always go to. Don't you kind of know them?" Jin asked.
"Kind of..." I said, while thinking through all the employees. "I guess it's better than nothing."
"Isn't the girl who makes your coffee every day cute?"
I blushed. "I guess so."
"It's better than admitting defeat."
"You're right. I will find a fake girlfriend if it's the last thing I do." We all sipped our wine in silence and wondered about possible dates. "Oh, Jennie, I've been meaning to ask: is it illegal to make palisades out of candy canes and tape them around your desk?"
