After The Rain

Chapter Eight - Looking For Ether (I)

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever forever.

But there is no other way.
The river cannot go back.

Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that's where the river will know
it's not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

- Khalil Gibran (Fear)

~

Khushi had woken up this morning feeling much better than she did yesterday. The magical concoction of her Amma had worked its wonders overnight, reducing her fever to a dull ache that was fading slowly yet surely.

But with the physical discomfort disappearing, Khushi found that she had nothing to distract herself from the disturbing thoughts about the events of the day before and the events that she was scared were to follow.

This morning Jiji had approached her and after making sure she was doing well and had digested every drop of her soup, had informed her that Akash-ji was requesting a meeting with the two of them. He had not said anything about it, but Khushi sensed that Arnav-ji would be tagging along, and she did not know whether she wanted to face him.

Nervous, she started conjuring up a thousand scenarios of their upcoming meeting that afternoon, trying to figure out the worse ways things could go wrong. She had not properly gauged Arnav's reaction to the truth in that temple and she was not sure whether or not he had forgiven her. She was aware that this was a silly, almost ludicrous thought. She had done nothing that would require forgiveness, but she also had plenty of experience dealing with Arnav Singh Raizada. On the list of endeavours that he perfected, blaming Khushi for things that were not her fault had probably been at the top for the past year.

Nonetheless, Khushi had convinced herself that she couldn't care less of what Arnav thought of her or do to her. Her priority was to make sure her sister was out of the eye of the storm, that her alliance with the love of her life was secured and her family was out ASR's vision of hatred and vengeance. As for the Raizada family, she no longer feared for them. Regardless of the difficulties in store for them, they were now at least in the right hands.

The resolution was fully formed in her head when she left home but as Payal recited the address of the restaurant they were supposed to meet the Raizada brothers in, she couldn't help but feel the precursors of a restlessness that hardly involved the fate of her family.

She was glad neither Arnav nor Akash came to fetch them. She had a suspicion that Payal had rejected that alternative, probably for the same reason as her, who needed some time before meeting them. She wanted to brace herself, to come up with arguments to their potential blames. But as it turned out, she wasted her energy because the second they entered the restaurant, the kind and slightly nervous face of Akash-ji told them that he was not planning an ambush. In fact, he looked like he was probably expecting one.

Khushi shared a glance with her sister before manoeuvring their way through the crowd and finding their seats at the farthest corner of the restaurant. The conversation around them boomed louder than the music and Khushi was glad of it. She still had not given up the feeling that their meeting might turn into a full-blown fight. At least their raised voices would not draw attention to them in this commotion unless any of them resorted to throwing utensils around. The image of Arnav Singh Raizada pitching a fit while wielding a fork built a sudden bubble of laughter in her and she would have probably given in if her head hadn't spun the second she tried to sit down.