It's NOT Jealousy

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Dec. 2024
"Maybe you should prioritize your studies just a tad bit more."

"Hating you will always be my priority."

It was a joke, in a way, that the two of us had created. We didn't hate each other, but the only thing we found enjoyable in relation to the other was the rivalry. Because of this, we had made a habit of saying the phrase, "Hating you will always be my priority," whenever one had gloated about doing something better than the other. This became our response because we always gloated by hinting that the other's work ethic was lacking. This was not the truth though, and we both knew it, but this situation made the competition all the more fun. But this all stopped once she stole all of his time and attention.

This wasn't jealousy, I didn't care for his attention in that way. I just felt scorned by his lack of participation in the rivalry we both once prioritized. This rivalry was the thing that kept me motivated, now it just seemed useless to strive for excellence if I had no one to go against. The rivalry brought life to the resolve I had to succeed and, without it, every achievement felt dull. I decided to take matters into my own hands, to do something that would push him back into our rivalry, so he would succeed with me.

I'm doing this for him.

- 1.9.21 -

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