The Rising Star - Alexia Putellas

Part 29

During the team meeting, Jill talked about the tournament in general, what she's expecting from us, the schedule of this camp and the road to the world cup. Overall it was boring and I was just ready for it to be over.

The almost panic attack used up a lot of my energy so I just wanted to go chill. When the meeting was over and I thought I was free for the night, until Jill called me over before I could leave.

"Ellie, can I speak with you for a moment?"

I turned back around and made my way over to Jill. "Sure, what's up coach?"

"I just want to talk with you about the world cup roster. I'm gonna be straight up with you. I think you could be a very important player to us during this tournament."

I furrowed my brows together, not really sure where she was going with this. Surely there must be a but coming.

"But" I asked her expectedly, waiting for her to clarify.

"There is no but. I just need you to prove it to me."

"JUST prove?" I scoffed. Like it's that easy.

"Yeah, just that. I know you're a magnificent player. You have what it takes to become the absolute greatest. YOU just need to believe it yourself." She pointed at me. "Stop being inside of your head. Be free. I need you to prove that to me over the course of the next couple of months. Not just with the national team but with Arsenal as well and I believe you can. Just like your teammates, the staff, hell even your opponents. The important question is do you?"

I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say at first other than to nod. "Okay."

"Good, looking forward to it. Go eat something and rest up." She patted my back and walked out. I on the other hand was still rooted to my spot. What the hell I'm I supposed to do now? Proof to her that I'm not in my head all the time?

Rose was the one, who snapped me out of my thoughts. "Queenie, you coming?"

"Yeah, sorry." I met her half way. Together we went to the cafeteria.

Over the course of several days we had trained very hard and the team was making a lot of progress to start in great shape for the Concacaf Cup. The training sessions were a bit weird however because each training Jill made me train with a different group. Normally all the forwards would train together, all the midfielders, all the defenders and all the goalies but for some reason Jill made me switch groups each training session.

Now it was time for our first game of the tournament against Mexico. Before the game I was expecting a good luck text from Mason but instead I got one from Alexia. It was probably too early in England anyway. We were up 1 goal by the end of the first half and were walking back to the locker room when Jill stopped me.

"You're still too much in your head."

"What?"

"You're still too much in your head." She repeated herself.

"I just assisted Pinoe. Isn't that a start?"

"It's not about the goals or the assists. I know you can do that. You've already proven that enough."

"Then what do I need to prove to you?!" I threw my hands up in frustration. "I don't get it?! First you tell me to prove to you that I'm good enough to be on the team, you have me train with every group. Defenders, forwards, midfielders. I did all that without complaining and with ease, may I add. Now I'm here playing a decent game with an assist and it is not enough?!" I looked at her for answers because frankly I was quite lost.

"You still don't get it. You are good enough. I know that, your teammates know that and your opponents definitely know that too. It's just that lately you play way too much with this." She said pointing to my head. "Instead of this." She pointed to my heart this time.