Seaglass Promises in the Midnight Sky

Cold Storm

Belly burst into the room, going immediately toward the closet. Lorraine had just gotten off the phone with Taylor, feeling a little bit better, and was scrolling aimlessly through Instagram to keep her mind from thinking. She watched Belly frantically search for some outfit.

"Hey. Do you want help?" Lorraine asked, hating how timid the words came out. Her throat felt tight and she was worried she was going to lose all the progress she just made with Taylor.

"What does someone even wear to a bonfire?" Belly huffed and sat down on the bed. At first Lorraine was shocked, Belly was never interested in any of the parties back home, she hardly tolerated birthday parties with more than five people present. Then again, everything about Belly was confusing these days.

When the news settled in, Lorraine was worried. It was clear that alcohol would be there, likely drugs of some kind too. Belly hated the stuff and she was always getting onto Taylor and Lorraine about their habits. Normally, that distain would reassure Lorraine that Belly wasn't going to get into any trouble, but she has heard the girl talk about Conrad, being willing to do nearly anything to get his attention. And this Belly was different from the one she knew if she was even considering going. There was no telling what she would do.

"You're going to that?"

Belly shot her an incredulous look, "Obviously."

"Can we talk? I feel like I haven't seen you for days and I didn't exactly come up here to hang out with anyone else." It was weird, living in a place with a bunch of strangers. It was isolating, the way they all knew each other so well, the way she knew so little. She had thought she would be fine, but that was when she was counting on Belly's presence.

"Could have fooled me," Belly said, so low Lorraine barely heard it, she wasn't even sure she had in fact heard correctly.

"What?"

"Nothing Lorraine. It's my fault anyway." Belly dismissed. Once again Lorraine felt like the only one unaware. She couldn't force her, wouldn't push the issue, but she could remind Belly she was there.

"Do you want me to go with you tonight? We could try and find some marshmallows to roast." She offered, despite her own desire to stay in and go to sleep at a reasonable time.

"No, I'm fine on my own."

"What about tomorrow? We could go to the boardwalk, I've never been to one."

"God, Lorraine don't you get it? This isn't working because you don't belong here. You don't even like the beach." Somehow, Belly seemed closer to crying than Lorraine, even as the pit in Lorraine's stomach grew. Her vision blurred so she stared hard as her hands and focused on steadying her breathing.

When her vision cleared she took a deep breath and asked, "You want me to leave?"

"I shouldn't have invited you in the first place. Everything was better when these parts of my life were separate." Belly sounded frustrated like she wasn't even sure of the problem herself. For Lorraine it was clear. She was the problem.

"I'll go back as soon as I can. I didn't mean to- I'm sorry Belly."

Belly opened her mouth and for one second Lorraine thought, hoped, that maybe she would tell her she could stay. But no words followed, Lorraine took the hint and left in search of a new sanctuary.

The boys were still in the backyard so she went out the front. Her hand itched to call Taylor but she knew she had already bugged the girl enough with her problems. Eventually, Lorraine would have to start learning to deal with her issues on her own. Today was a good day to start it would seem.

Cousins was a small town. Lorraine started down the side of the road with the knowledge that it would only take an hour at most to find a place worth hanging out at. Then she could start figuring out everything else. How to get home without a car. What she would tell her parents when she did arrive. What she would tell Belly's mom before she left, how she would explain it to her.

Lorraine would figure it out. She's been through worse. She would be fine. Maybe she'd pick somewhere she can see the sunrise.