The Twins (EDITED)

Chapter 14

Ariana's POV-

Sometimes I forget about emotions. It hurts. When I look in the mirror, I finally see emotion. I see someone broken.

That's because you are broken, biscuit!

I know. I'd know. I have to live with it. Nobody except Alex had seen me like that, but Alex didn't know the extent of the injuries. He didn't know because I didn’t tell him. 

When I went into the closet, I changed into a short tank-top, and some shorts...they'd be able to see my self-harm scars, but I couldn't care less. I really couldn't.

When I walked out, my brothers were silently looking at me, with tears already streaming down their faces. 

"Ari-" Brian started with a whisper. Alex cut him off.

"You never told me. You promised!" He exclaimed, hurt, making itself known. I sighed and looked down. 

See? You only end up hurting people more. 

I know.            

"I know," I started. "But, I'm too much of a burden. I didn't need you worrying about me, you already had enough to worry about," I finished, whispering. Alexander, Micheal, Reese and Brian looked at me with their jaws dropped. They saw the self-harm scars.

"Ari, did-...did you...cut yourself?" Mike asked. I looked at him with a guilty expression. He stared at me in disbelief.

"It's okay, I'm okay..." I started. I trailed off, because we all knew it wasn't true. Especially Alex. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Why didn't you tell someone...why didn't you tell me?" Alex asked. I bit my lip again, and looked away. I feel exposed now. I feel...like a disappointment. The way Brian was looking at me, I could tell he felt disappointed. In me.

I dropped to the floor, and started tugging my hair, trying to get my emotions under control before I had another panic attack. Alex rushed to me and carefully untangled my fingers from my hair. I hugged him and started sobbing. The rest of our brothers looked like they were about to cry, but I don't know why. I'm worthless, at least, that's what she always said.

Alex whispered sweet nothings into my ears, but I was too far away from the Earth to hear him. I focused on steadying my breathing, and slowly I started to get feeling back. I looked up at Alex as he held me. His green eyes, piercing through mine, easily reading me.

"Ari, you're not worthless. You're anything but," Brian said. I looked at him, with tears still running down my face. I shook my head.

"I am, I'll never be worth anything to anyone," I whispered but by the looks on their faces, they heard me. Alex tightened his grip on me, while looking into my eyes.

"Would you be worthless if you had 4 boys, who love you to death?" Reese asked.

"Would you be worthless if you were loved?" Mike asked.

"Would you feel worthless if we gave you gifts?!" Brian exclaimed.

"With all of those, what makes you feel worthless?" Alex asked me gently. All of our brothers leaned forward waiting for my reply. I sighed.

"My mind. It's a warzone. I only have one friend...that's her. She tells me to not trust, to not feel worth anything, to cut, to...die," I whispered. All of their eyes widened at the last word I spoke. I broke down again, but even Alex didn't know I thought all this. I'm a good actor after all.

"Why would you say that?" Reese asked me softly. I looked at him with sobs racking my body.

"It's true," I said through sobs. All of them shook their heads in unison.

"Would we be worried about you right now if you were worthless, Ari? You need to listen to yourself talking. Stop listening to your mind. Your mind is wrong," Brian spoke sternly. I looked at him with a questioning expression. I shook my head.

"It wasn't working when it said I would feel something if I cut!" I lashed out. I immediately covered my mouth when I said that. All of their jaws dropped. I really just screwed myself over.

"I'm sorry, I-I...I need to punch something," I whispered, pulling away from Alex. I went over to my vanity mirror, seeing my brothers watch each move intently, if I would break more than I already had. I put on some makeup to my cuts, and went to change.

When I came out, I had changed into an athletic crop-top, and long baggy pants. They looked at my outfit disapprovingly but let me wear it. As I was about to leave the room, someone said something that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Why didn't you trust us?" Brian asked. I felt my eyes water again. I tried around and looked him straight in the eye.

"I only trust Alex with most of my secrets because he doesn't treat me differently. After I broke my arm, he didn't treat me differently, he only was a bit more careful. You guys acted like my 'servants'. Ha. Even ALEX thought it was stupid! You guys ALWAYS treat me differently because of something! ANYTHING! I knew as soon as this conversation would come, even Alex would think differently of me. I know he still loves me, I know he doesn't think of me the same way! He probably now think I'm some suicidal biscuit! YOU GUYS PROBABLY THINK THAT TOO! YOU GUYS NEVER REALLY CARED! I'm positive you don’t even love me anymore," I shouted. I mumbled the last sentence and rubbed my forehead, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Just leave me alone. It's not like you care," I said. I am terrified. They probably won't welcome me back with open arms now. With my luck, they probably hate me. I go off to the only place I can find peace. I go off to fight. My place of peace.