Queen of the Fae (Book 1)

Thirteen

"You have only seen the least of what I can do."

-Holly Black, The Cruel Prince (The Folk of the Air, #1)

TRIGGER WARNING: FLASHBACKS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

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I tasted blood. The coppery scent seeped  into my nose, drawing out demons that I worked so hard to eradicate every second of every day. I remembered the way my face felt pressed against the cold ground, my fingernails broken from trying to claw my way free. I could feel him like a second skin as his body filled mine with hate. I could feel the rage and purpose in each of his thrusts, and right then I knew I wanted to die.

It didn't matter how much I begged him, how hard I fought. The monsters had finally come for me, and now instead of the luxury of money and humanity to hide them, they'd become clear as day. My ears rang, my body limp and colors distorted as I prayed to fade away. I didn't want any part of this world, or of the Fae huntress who's actions led to this.

I laid there, enduring it all, and a single thought filed through my mind: if I survived, I would hunt down every last pixie and teach them what it meant to inflict true pain. Only this time, they would be the damned. This, I promised to only myself.

This, I would survive.

I woke up screaming, my body bucking against another as I fought to come back to myself. Rational thought wasn't clear to me. I could still taste the blood on my mouth and my bruised body ached in unfamiliar ways. A voice in the darkness reached out to me, plucking me from this ruthless pain, and despite how hard I fought against her, she unraveled me. I fought hard, giving in to instincts that are still so foreign to me yet I clung to them like a second skin. I felt like a snake, shedding her skin in favor of a new one as power fled through me and I grasped at it, begging it to take me home.

"Eva, stop, you're here now. Breathe, you're here with me. Only me." I focused on her voice, trying desperately to reacquaint myself with this world. I blinked against the harsh morning light, trying to come back to myself.

I could feel Kaisa's hands on me and my skin gave an involuntary shudder at the feeling. Crippling horror spread through me when I realized I had never changed back into my clothing and was still naked. I desperately looked anywhere but at her as my racing heartbeat started to calm, feeling embarrassment rush to my cheeks.

Kaisa's lavender gaze was hard, her jaw clenched as tight as her fists as she wrapped the remains of the blanket around me, all but shredded by my nails. Yet despite her apparent anger, her touch was soft. I pulled it around me, saying nothing.

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you." Her near whisper made my heart ache. In the beginning I hated her for what he had done with me, but she righted that wrong when she tore him apart limb from limb.

I got to my feet, ignoring the strain in my muscles as I began the grueling tast of wrapping myself in the mesh Maxie had given me, feeling a little more secure as I tied the last of it. I met her eyes finally, stress and worry on her face. My skin still crawled, my body aching in places that it shouldn't, but I disregarded the warning and stepped up to her, my fingers reaching towards her face.

"I can protect myself now." I murmered, the remnants of my dream passing through my mind. She didn't offer a response and I didn't wait, needing to stretch my wings before we packed up and headed for the castle. I didn't know how much freedom I had left, but I wanted it to be mine for a little while longer.