I Need You

Chapter 5- Maggot

**This chapter contains scenes of abuse & violence. The Author does not condone or support these acts of violence. 18+ only please. Read at your discretion.

Song recommendation: black sea– natasha blume (slowed + reverb) by ellis

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRGmB43t3hpW4LkEpA79k-sCUfSPBfzjI

TW: abuse, reference to infant death

. . .

Eyes flickering, the world came in blurry and dark. You shook your head, mind sloshy and disoriented. Was last night a bad dream? No. It had happened.

You had kissed your superior officer.

A fearful shiver struck your spine, making your back jolt from the mattress. Your brain played last night on repeat, leaving you in the front row seat to experience the shame and embarrassment over and over. The ending was particularly troubling. After you kissed Levi, he just left. No lecture. No punishment. Nothing. Just walked away like nothing happened. The kiss was remarkable. A passionate affair of rebellious desire. He must have felt it too. He could have pushed you away, overpowered you, but he didn't. Something about the kiss had captivated him, held him there, if only for a brief moment in time. Your mind wringed itself as it twisted around the scenario, so much that you had completely forgotten about...

What's this?

A paper with folded edges sat neatly next to your pillow along with a half-used pencil. It read:

Last night was fun. Let's do it again.

-Eren (P.S. here's your pencil back. Don't go using it to write to another guy, alright?)

Your heart fluttered to a drop, guilt meeting it at the bottom of your stomach. You had a crush on Eren since joining the 104th, so why was the Captain the only thing on your mind? There was no way you were developing feelings for the biggest asshole in the Survey Corps. It was just a phase. He crept under your skin but with enough time and space, he would eventually go back to whatever hole trolls live in. Besides, Eren was a tall drink of water and Levi was a shallow puddle. Nauseous, you grabbed your stomach as it growled. Weakly hanging your legs over the side of your bunk, you pulled leather over bare feet. Jean appeared from beneath your legs, leaning against the ladder,

"Maybe you should slow down on the drinking, baby, you look like shit."

"Did you eat shit for breakfast, Kirstein? I can smell your breath from here."

"Actually, threw up in my mouth thinkin' bout you and Jaeger eating each other's faces last night. What you even see in that guy?"

"Everything you aren't. That's why I like him."

"I'm glad I'm nothing like that suicidal maniac...", Jean mumbled.

Sticking your landing, the hardwood creaked beneath you,

"Me too. Because then I would have to actually respect you."

A careless wisp of hair swished across Jean's face as you brushed it over your shoulder. Taking one last glance at your unimpressed frenemy, you exited the barracks.

. . .

All the scouts were assigned to cleaning duties, swabbing every inch of the castle till it met Captain Levi's standard of cleanliness. In other words, you were cleaning till sundown. Assigned to the kitchen in the basement, it was filled with rats, cobwebs, and cockroaches. The cast iron appliances were hidden beneath thick layers of dust while the fridge was filled with spoiled food. An extremely potent odor emanated from the dark pile of sludge. Even the rats weren't going anywhere near it. You elbowed Sasha in the ribs before turning to her with the tip of your finger against your nose,