Unrequited love

JEALOUSY AND LONGING~

I've known you a hundred and eighty-four days. She's known you three hundred and sixty-five. I didn't want to believe you had feelings for her but I saw the way you peeked when she wasn't looking. You relaxed in her presence. A smile on your face.

I looked at you from the corner of my eyes, I hated that you smiled at her that way. The smile lit up your whole face enhancing your already handsome features. You don't smile at me like that.

I wanted all your smiles directed at me, reveal those pearly whites and glow just for me. You have my heart why can't you just see it?

You touched her face and I wanted to tear it apart. I wanted her to dissolve and disappear into thin air. I don't care if you hate me. I wanted her gone, far away from us. Maybe then there would be a chance of 'us'. I can't show just how much I despise her, she's so nice to me. There should be no reason for me to have evil intentions towards her. I'm blinded by rage. I hate this.

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Remember how I gave a forewarning of my thought process. How I jump from one thought to another in a blink of an eye. I just did it again.

I'm reminded of how you sat by me once, your elbow grazed mine. I felt your heat, goosepimples all over. The thought alone makes me giggle. We were seated very close in this cramped space. You left your elbow on the arm of my chair. Thump! Thump! Thump! It was getting hot, I was sweating buckets under my shirt. I was nervous. "Does he know his skin is touching mine?" "Does he know what this minute physical contact is doing to me?"

I couldn't look at your face. I was scared you would look into my eyes and know every thought passing through my mind in that moment.

The day ended but thoughts of you lingered like the quiet after a heavy storm.

I want this to stop.

I want to forget you.

I want you.

I love you.

Do you see me?

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