I Wonder

Chapter 5

"No, I...", Agnetha tried to find an excuse so she would not have to talk to him. "I have to look after the children."

The truth was, that she didn't had to worry about the children because the nanny was taking care of them. She was just stressed out and wanted to be at home with her children.

"Come on, Anna. It won't take long. Just a few minutes.", Björn tried to persuade her.

"I said 'no'!", Agnetha was now nearly screaming at him. "And please don't call me 'Anna'.", she said trying to sound strong.

With that being said she walked towards her car trying not to cry. How she hated it when he called her Anna it was always his name for her. The way he used to call her when they were a couple, when they were happy.

Agnetha reached her car. She got in but didn't start the car yet. 

She was just sitting there. Tears started running down her cheeks.

What had happened, that she was now here?

Alone.

They used to be so happy.

She had ruined everything.

It was her fault that they were divorcing.

I t was her fault that her children had to grow up with separated parents.

She had ruined their life.

Thinking it would be good for them she took them away from their father.

Should she leave the children with Björn and Lena and leave? Forever?

Would they have a better future growing up with their father?

Would it be better for them when they just forget her?

After a while she decided to drive home. 

Still crying she started the car and drove.

After a while she realized that she was driving to her and Björns old house.

No! This was the wrong way.

She didn't want to meet Lena. Neither Björn. Especially not in the condition she was right now. It was bad enough that her children hat to see her like this.

She drove into the other direction.

Halfway she had to stop because her sight was getting blurred by tears.

She was sitting once again in her car crying.

After 15 minutes she finally felt ready to drive home.

After she arrived home and opened the door Linda run towards her and hugged her.

"Hej sweetheart. Please let me take my coat and shoes of."

"Fine", Linda said leaving Agnetha alone in the hallway.

After she took her coat and shoes of Agnetha followed her daughter into the living room.

Bitte was sitting with with Christian on her lap an the carpet playing with the children.

When Agnetha entered the room Bitte looked up: "Is everything alright Agnetha? You don't look well."

"I have a terrible headache. I will go upstairs and rest a bit.", the crying hadn't done her any good. Now she was paying with a headache for it.

It was that bad that she couldn't even think. Even the quietest noise and light were making it worse.

"Do you want a tea?", Bitte asked her.

"No, thank you. Can you look after the children?"

"Yes, for sure. Just call me when you ned anything."

Agnetha then went upstairs. Entering her bedroom she took some more comfortable cloths out and changed. 

Afterwards she closed the curtains and lay in bed for a little nap.