Murder Recall

Crooked Time

I'm one hundred years old today and thought I would record an interesting conversation I had with Rita yesterday. We were talking about the so-called 'grandfather paradox' and time travel.

Rita explained, "If you went back in time to, for example, when you were ten, you would be the you that you were then, the ten year old you, in the world you experienced when you were ten, and you would know nothing of the future after that time which now you consider part of the past. If you went back in time to a period before your birth, you would not be the you that you are in this lifetime, but would be the you that you were in that time then, with the mentality, identity, memory and body you had then."

"Assuming reincarnation," I said.

Rita replied, "Nature and all of the universe is continuously reincarnating. As long as matter exists, it is always reincarnating."

"So what if the you, the you are now, did go back in time?" I asked.

Rita answered, "As far as I know, that couldn't happen, but if it did, that would be a different past from that which we know now, eventually resulting in a different present from this one and an alternative future. If it were known how to control time travel, if a place and time could be chosen, that would mean the control of destiny and the ultimate power of free will; or, maybe not, if the source of the choice and the options available were questioned. It's interesting to wonder how much free choice is involved in the countless decisions we find ourselves having to make, especially the most difficult of decisions when no right answer presents itself."

"Could time travel exist?" I asked.

Rita said, "Not as we currently understand it in science fiction."

"What about travel into the future?" I asked.

Rita replied, "Past, present and future all exist at any given instance of time. If you went into the future, you would be the you that you will be then, or a reincarnation of you, with all the memory, identity, mentality and body you will have then, based on what you are now."

"So we would never know if we had time travelled," I said.

"Exactly," Rita said, "If the arrow of time was not straight, we would never know. We unconsciously organize experience along a straight timeline."

I said, "So it's possible that we are living our lives backwards or jumping around in time and the sequence of cause and effect from the moment of our birth to our death is an illusion?"

"Could be," Rita said, "it doesn't matter though."

"Sounds like there's no free will," I said.

Rita answered, "I know, but in the meantime there are choices we must decide upon, and choosing not to decide, is a decision as well."

Over many months, Rita was slowly healing herself. She would lie down, very still, and close her eyes. I would stay beside her while she did this in case she needed my help like she did when I found her damaged from the lightening; however, she rarely needed my help but we both felt better if I was with her. A little red light would flash and travel around her body as she was going through this process. Once she sat up at the end of it and said to me, "I was in a conversation with Hilda and neither of us understand how she can have a voice that speaks through me."

I asked, "Does it feel like she is your body?"

Rita replied, "No, she does not control my movements. It feels like she is a body somewhere else."

"Where?" I interrupted, hoping to see my mother again.

Rita answered, "She might be living in the forest, somewhere near Crawford Mills which is a ghost town."