Murder Recall

Davine and Sindy

I was brooding about what was happening in my book. What was going on with the twins? I was trying to figure it out. Davine was discovered dead and later her body disappeared. Sindy had found the story written by Davine. I feel like an investigator myself, putting the pieces of the plot together that are scattered at random before me like a deck of cards, some upturned, some upside down that haven't been revealed yet. It's no coincidence that I am writing about twins. I'm writing about twins because of my twins who were taken from me. Even though I was so young at the time, my hips were large enough, being big, though lean, for a girl that age. That's still so today. The good twin and the bad twin idea is based on parental preferences. Implicit moral teaching, that is unavoidable, insinuates the concepts of good and bad. All children seek the favour of those who look after them. It's the survival instinct and it's more basic than the maternal instinct. In my opinion, of course. Whatever. I've brooded without coming to any conscious conclusions and have just started to write anyway to keep the Creative Spirit happy.

There are different levels which intertwine. The life of my twins in this reality we all share when awake, the story of the twins in my book, and that dream always in the sidelines of my stream of thought about the good doll and the bad doll. How can the Good be good if it wants to kill the Bad? Actually, Good forgives Evil and in so doing, inadvertently adds more fuel to the fire of Evil's jealousy of Good, which results in Good's forever having to suffer the consequences of Evil's hate. God's preference for Good infuriates Evil and drives Evil's continual effort to eliminate and destroy Good, so that, in the twisted logic of Evil's thinking, Evil will be God's only child and somehow, thereby, be the focus of God's loving attention. Davine, who considered herself the good twin, colludes with her mother morally, and seeks to banish the bad twin, onto whom all things bad have been projected. But the bad is never completely banished. It's still there, pushed outside the circle of conformism. That's why in my dream Winnie so frantically killed the bad doll.

I've been rereading and rereading the story of the twins in The Locket, editing and making sense of what's been confusing me. After much of that, I summarized what inspiration had revealed to me in order to see if it hung together.

Davine was on the run. She was a brilliant scientist in her own right and knew that she had a chip and that it was increasingly dysfunctional. She was on the run from Ella Kirk and the assassins working for her. She was lucky the GPS that was part of the chip properties in her head was failing, but still, there were the old fashioned tracking techniques. No amount of persuasion would be able to convince Ella Kirk that Davine would not reveal, with substantiating evidence, that Ella Kirk was a murderer and that her common-law husband was also.

Davine's office was beautiful by office standards but still she had often felt confined in it. She loved her work more than anything else but needed breaks from the computer to be able to think. The only people who had more computer knowledge and skill than she who were working for the corporation were Ella Kirk and Phil Jones, the two top scientists in the field. Davine reported to Ella Kirk who was extremely possessive of Phil Jones. Ella was so busy with her own work that she did not have the time to micro-manage Davine as Ella would have liked. Davine was drawn by overwhelming curiosity, a quality she kept guardedly hidden from her professional superiors in rank (though not in intelligence, in her equally disguised opinion). Davine would disable aspects of the security system that kept so many of the computer files inaccessible, and she would snoop in those files containing forbidden knowledge, all while keeping up with the huge workload assigned her. One busy day, after nine hours straight in her office, she was gazing out the window in front of her desk, not at what was out there, but without blinking and without constructive, directed thought, or even daydreams, staring simply at the light itself. It was a pale light, thus restive on her eyes, and it filled her soul with a strange restorative satisfaction. Then afterwards, her focus returned to the computer screen as her fingers were navigating the information there.