EROS

December 6, 2019

IL MIO PRIMO AMORE

A.
The first time I saw you, it was so enchanting.
I was really young, I can't explain this feeling,
everything slowed down when you walked inside the room
because of you, my high school fantasy was cruel.
I thought I was in love with you for a decade,
but I realized something that made that "love" fade.

B.
When we were young, you were really friendly to me,
we became secret best friends the world didn't see.
I got really close to your beautiful cousin,
and so I was lucky to see the "you" within.
Up until now, we talk like how we were back then,
and I am really blessed to call you my best friend.

C.
Years ago, I genuinely thought you were the one,
but you're the guitarist from the church I came from—
this can't happen because my mom was the leader.
I liked you so much but then you were a cheater,
you played with the feelings of my close friend and I—
then and there, I knew you were never the right guy.

D.
In college, you sang your way to my heart and mind
because of that, I ignored the red flags and signs.
We wrote songs together about love and heartbreaks,
I'd never thought you'll be the one who'll cause the ache.
I created a pleasing melody with you,
but behind it all, you made me look like a fool.

E.
You're the baddest of them all, well, you looked like one.
In our class, then, you rarely talked to anyone,
but then when you leave the room, all girls sigh and swoon—
me too, but in silence, not like those gross buffoons.
For me, back then, you were just an innocent crush,
but we're in for a big surprise as the time passed.

F.
You were the first friend I made from those crazy apps,
a guy who doesn't need to say corny pickups.
You've become the first one who I've explored that with,
I've seen the good side of the nasty Western myths.
Time passed by, we became really good friends, just friends,
I'll never stop writing of how lucky I am.

G.
You're the second friend I made from those crazy apps,
and because of you, I've learned to not give a fuck.
I have to admit, you're the finest of them all,
I've succeeded in trying my best not to fall.
You've become my defender in every battle—
my devilish archangel in this earthly hell.

H.
You were the third friend I made from those crazy apps,
you are the perfect gentleman, and that's a fact.
For months, every day we chat, every night we talked,
you've intently taught me how to stand up and walk.
I just wish I've never done that harsh thing to you,
hurting you on your birthday without greeting you.

I.
I met you at the office of my first real job.
At first, I was really thinking you're a snob
then we became close and uncovered many things,
but those were dangerous, it took away my wings.
I've written things about you, but this is the last,
and I'm now thankful because you left just like that.

E.
After years of not really talking, you came back,
and then we talked for a year before the "meet up".
Crazy things, I can't even comprehend, happened,
but these are the "crazies" I want to feel again.
Now I know what made my "love" for the first to fade,
I know you're scared, I am too, don't push me away.
Can we just unfold the unknown crazies and stay?
Forever, il mio primo amore.