Left out | KiriKamiDeku

🌾Chapter 1🌾

No Person Pov:

As the sun crept in to the small apartment that three teen boys shared, one particular greenette awoke. As he sat up in bed, he noticed how he was just a little further away from his two lovers, who were currently spooning each other in their sleep. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest, but brushed it off as he had been doing for the past month.

Izuku Midoriya had been dating his two boyfriends, Shoto Todoroki and Katsuki Bakugo, for three (almost four) months now. It had started when Izuku had finally gotten the courage to confess his crush to Todoroki, thinking that he had more of chance than with Bakugo, and Todoroki had reciprocated his feelings. Although, Todoroki confessed that he also had feelings for Bakugo. After talking about it, the two decided to confess to Bakugo, who surprisingly liked both of them, and they all ended up dating.

The first month was perfect. They got to know each other better, went out on cute dates, and by the end of the month they were sharing hoodies and clothes. The second month was also amazing, though much more relaxed. They had gotten to know each other pretty well, had gotten comfortable with each other, and had gotten an apartment on school grounds together for the three of them in the middle of the month. By the end of the month, they were constantly snuggling together on the couch. Now for the third month. The third month wasn't looking so well for Izuku. Once the third month started, the other two started to exclude Izuku a bit. At first it was small things, such as sitting closer to each other rather than including Izuku, or saying that they were going to run an errand together and leaving Izuku behind. They got progressively colder towards Izuku, and it was starting to worry him. It hurt Izuku to see the two boys he was growing to love abandon him, and it broke him a little more each time. Once, he had even fallen asleep on the couch by accident, and when he woke up he saw the other two cuddling in bed. They hadn't bothered to get Izuku, nor did they look worried!

Izuku was starting to worry that they were going to leave him behind.

Focusing back on this morning, Izuku forced himself to brush away the hurt he felt and get ready for school. He had woken up before any of the alarms that the three of them had set, so he didn't bother waking up his boyfriends. He knew from experience that they wouldn't do so for him anyways.

After he got dressed and ready for school, he started the short walk from the apartments to his class. He always got to school an hour early, so when he arrived he decided to leave his stuff by his desk and head up to the roof. Somehow, this led him to thinking about that day in middleschool, when Bakugo had told him to 'take a swan dive off the roof of the building'. He remembered the apology Bakugo gave him for the bullying, once they started dating, but now Izuku was wondering if he should've taken his advice.

No! Don't be silly Izuku, Sho and Kacchan still love you! And even if things aren't the best right now, killing yourself won't solve anything... right?

Izuku pondered over his failed positive thought for thirty minutes, before deciding to take a bathroom break before class.

Izuku's Pov:

As I made my way down the stairs to the bathroom, I couldn't get Kacchan's old words out of my head. I didn't want to kill myself, because too many people were counting on me, but I did deserve some kind of pain.

I looked up from the floor and realized that I had somehow ended up at the bathroom already. I walked inside one of the stalls, rolled up my sleeves, and looked at the angry white lines decorating my wrists. My scars. I had started to cut myself in middleschool when the bullying became too much, but I stopped during the summer so that they could heal. I always manage to cover them up, or keep them hidden from everyone. Not even Kacchan and Sho know about them. I didn't want Kacchan to feel guilty, or for Sho to think that i'm weak, and since we haven't done anything past making out, they haven't found out yet.

I wish I had brought my bag, I think to myself. I still carried around my old blade, and I was really getting the urge to cut myself again. I'll probably make some new cuts during lunch or something. I suddenly remembered class, and saw that I had ten minutes before the bell rang. I quickly got up from the stall, not needing to go to the bathroom anymore, and rushed back to the classroom. Sho and Kacchan were already there, but they were sitting next to each other away from me. I just walked past them, avoided eye contact, and didn't look at them for the rest of the morning.

~Time skip to lunch~

As soon as the lunch bell rang, I darted out of the classroom. I knew that Kacchan and Sho wouldn't come look for me, and rushed straight to the bathroom. As soon as I was sure that everyone was in the cafeteria, I looked through my backpack for my old razor. I looked down at my wrist once I found it, just running my fingers over the skin at first. Then, it was more like my fingers were searching for the most prominent veins, pushing to see which ones bulged out more. See, cutting always made me scared at first. No matter how many times I did it, I would always be scared when first making a cut. But, the idea of seeing my blood always calms me down. At first the pain stings, and I don't want to keep cutting, but the thought of seeing blood makes me continue. Then, the pain starts to feel good. The stinging turns to pleasure, and all of a sudden i'm on a sort of high. I thought through all of this as the metal bit into my skin, drawing a low hiss from my mouth.

I can never make cuts deep enough to draw blood on the first try, so I always make little scratches in the same place over and over until I draw blood. I trained my eye on the place I just scratched, and kept going. Picture blood, picture blood, all I want is to see some blood, my blood. I kept scratching, faster and faster, until I noticed that I had already scratched enough to make four different cuts. It was like my body went on autopilot... it kinda scared me that my body could fall back into a pattern that easily.

I guess old habits really do die hard.

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Words count: 1169