Once there was a very stupid person named Rory. She liked to eat Teddy Grahams. She didn't know this but one day she would become a cringy Pinterest mom kids' names were Summer, Winter, and Autumn. Or Oregano, Sage, and Rosemary.
One day Rory walked into a coffee shop and saw her friend Alondra, but that's not important to the story. She ordered an iced chai tea latte with oat milk and a pump of brown sugar syrup. "Mmm yummy," she said. Then Yummy by Justin Beaver started playing.
Then she went home and saw she had no internet so she played dino run. Then once she was done, she cried. Then she went to eat a cookie.
The next day, Rory went to school. In debate class, she talked to the boy with the Ramen Noddle hair. She got hit on by a senior with ginger porcupine hair who always wore the same outfit, and then told her beautiful, talented, smart, amazing, best friend, that it was fun, even though she had an ugly boyfriend who is a weirdo and probably secretly a homosexual.
Then Rory's brother Maxamillus came into her bedroom and started screeching like a little girl who had just eaten 70 crack-infused high-sugar cupcakes. Her other brother, Calebius came in and started moaning and talking about his gay romance with moatto moatto.
That night Rory did some illegal activities and went on her school roof.
The next day Rory got a letter from Sir Alejandro Sergi Frederique.
YOU ARE READING
The Story Of The Stupid
HumorA story I wrote about my friend, based on true events. A tale about a sad young woman reaching her full potential due to fate and a mysterious letter from a fascinating European man.
