Diary of a broken world

His half smile

I stared at my phone in disbelief, I could not stop smiling. I would picture Tobias and his Brown hair slightly falling over his right eye, reading all the posts in my account with a smile on his face. I wondered if he related to them, I wondered if he ever felt alone or unwanted. It did not seem that way, he was always surrounded by his guy friends and some girls that would always hit on him, although I had learned to not judge anyone's level of happiness by how many people they hung out with.

Since school was starting up again I went to get some supplies and some new clothes that my mom thought were 'trendy' because she followed some fashion influencers. I did not like most of what she picked but I chose not to fight with her. After I got home I found a message in the group chat I had with Danielle, Mia, and other girls in my class. It was from Danielle and it asked how everyone's summer had gone. I did not reply, something did not feel right with our friendship. 

I decided to follow Tobias back. His account was public so I was able to stalk him (just a Little). I knew a few things about him like that he liked photography and politics. He was an only child and had moved to my town two years ago after his dad had lost his job in California. We met the first few months after he arrived because he joined the UN model club with me. He was quite outspoken, so it was easy for him. I, on the other hand, loved the club but had a hard time speaking on any of the committees I joined. Once, we joined the same Security Council committee. After the first debate day, everyone walked quickly out of the classroom and I was a mess like always trying to fit all my papers into my bag and of course, they all fell to the ground. I am still embarrassed about that day. 

"Of course, they all fall out" I mumbled annoyed as I bent down to pick them up.

"Here let me help," said a voice that slightly startled me as I looked up to meet Tobias' gorgeous brown eyes.

"Oh, thanks" I mumbled a little embarrassed as he picked up my position paper and passed it to me (that for all of you folks that haven't done UN is like a presentation paper).

"I really liked the quote you used in your position paper, I love Nelson Mandela," he said to me with a half smile. 

And that was it, I answered him something stupid like 'thanks, see you around'  but I have been in love with his half smile ever since. I should have told him that he was an awesome speaker and that I would love to discuss something intellectual with him, but I did not. It's a shame I could tell he was madly in love with someone else's half smile. Someone I knew quite well.

After daydreaming a little I posted the next story on my DM's on the feed and went to sleep. 

The next morning I woke up very early to make sure I had everything that I needed for school packed and ready. Also, the anxiety of starting a new year had stopped me from resting. I checked the account, It always made me feel better.

@ diaryofabrokenworld

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Story #15 (real story from a Wattpad user)

when I was younger, I went to a certain public school. I was always trying to be a part of the cool girls. we were not cool in the least. but as the years in school went by, I got bullied. I would come home crying, and start bullying my homeschooled brothers. At grade 4 I was removed from public school and started homeschooling with my brothers. my friends and I kept trying to keep in touch with phone calls, but it was only ever me calling them. me reaching out to them. And when I stopped, they never bothered to start. After a while, I met another girl who's like me in so many ways. she's my best friend and hasn't let me fall too deep into my depression, anxiety, or trauma, without a little encouraging boost. she's the only person I feel I can truly rely on, she's my sister. I'm still scared and can't trust easily, and it still hurts that my friends abandoned me, but I think I'll be okay with my best friend\online therapist\bubble of joy\sister.