Diary of a broken world

A proper introduction

Hi there, my name is Elisabeth, and believe it or not this is my first time writing to the public as me. Really me.

 
I like to think of myself as a sort of collector of stories. If you think of it each person we meet is so different, yet it is incredibly interesting that we all share some things. We are all humans, and we all feel fear, joy, and pain. I have always loved to read, there's a special magic in the way someone shares their life. As if no matter how different someone's story is, we can all understand to some extent what they are feeling and learn about ourselves.

Words have infinite powers, they carry each story to a new reader and allow us to say freely what we feel. Because paper can not judge us, we turn our thoughts to written words so they make more sense to us. Paper is the confidential friend that will never fail us, a diary is the keeper of our best and worst memories.

This crazy story started that way, with a few words and my need to connect people through stories. I wish I could have stayed like it started, beautiful. Before love and people got in the way. But allow me to tell you how it happened from the start. 

This crazy story started the last day before the end of junior year because my all-time favorite English teacher Mr. Hudson, a medium-sized man in his early twenties with a passion for literature and teaching, gave us a new project.

I remember that day perfectly. To my right sat my friend Mia Ortiz texting and smiling at her phone, probably at some gossip, Danielle Thompson had sent her about the party she had gone to last night. Mia was a medium-sized girl with long straight hair that loved talking a lot. We had been friends ever since kindergarten, my mom used to say we were the perfect match because I was a great listener.
Danielle was the most beautiful girl in the class, with her blond hair and slim figure, she was always on trend. Obviously, she was pretty famous among the boys and Mia liked her a lot, but I personally wasn't very close to her.

To my left sat Delilah lost in her drawings. She wore overalls decorated with sunflowers she had painted herself that made her red hair stand out. She had always been nice to me and it was such a shame she did not have many friends.

Finally, in the back sat the gorgeous Tobias Edward staring right at Danielle. He was tall with brown eyes, thick and defined eyebrows, and slightly long hair he styled perfectly. He was a rare breed of a popular guy because he didn't do any sports and he was on the debate team. He also liked to read and write poetry when no one was watching. The rest of the seats were filled with some people I had never talked to in my life.
After all, I had never been a very social person, Mia or Danielle usually took care of that for me.

I had been lost in my thoughts when Mr. Hudson made one of his terrible literary jokes and everyone laughed. Needless to say, I enjoyed his terrible jokes, I even enjoyed having discussions about the books we read in class with him, only never in class.

 
"Well then, now that we have read about all these important figures that have created real changes in the world, I have an assignment for you," he said enthusiastically as everyone groaned. For a few weeks, we had read and talked about civic activism and now he wanted us to become world changers, but with the people in my classroom, I hardly doubted that was going to happen.

"Oh come on! It won't be graded, I am not that cruel. Maybe don't think of it as an assignment... think of it as a project. I want you to think about what matters to you and then I want you to take that to create a project that allows you to be a factor of change. For example, miss Thomson, what are you passionate about?" He said knowing Danielle was texting, catching her off guard.

"Umm, I don't know. Fashion?" She said hiding her phone on her table.

"Awesome! Now how do you think you could use fashion to be a factor of change?" He said approaching her table.

"Well, I'm not sure. We could do a clothing drive. Or a fashion show to raise money!".

"Good thinking. I want you all to think about that, and please tell me next year what you come up with" he said happily before the bell rang, all the students cheered and he tried to wish us all a good summer. 

I rushed out of the class like the rest of the students after I tried to fit all my things inside my bag. I found Mia and Danielle a few lockers ahead of mine.

"Omg Dani. Can you believe it? We are basically seniors!" Mia said excitedly.

"I know! I just wish we could spend the summer together" answered Mia not meeting her excitement. I just kept taking things out of my locker silently.

"But you'll know I'll miss you a lot and I'll tell you all about it when you get back," she said as her phone rang. "Sorry my mom is here to pick me up, but have a great flight! and bye Beth," she said to me before leaving.

"Oh, bye." I said looking out of my locker awkwardly at her after I realized she had said my name.  Mia finished taking things out of her locker, said goodbye and walked towards her other friends to tell them some gossip she had heard. 

As I was finishing cleaning up my locker I heard a few girls gossiping to my right.
"Did you see the way Thomas looked at Danielle back there? 20 bucks they date over the summer" said one of them whose name was Nadia. I probably would have added another 20 bucks to her bet of my own if only I wasn't so emotionally invested in hoping that wouldn't happen.

 
"Oh, but did you see Delilah's overalls?" She said scoffing as they all said things like "yess those sunflowers were sad if you know what I mean".
I was suddenly sick because of their stupidity so I finished packing my stuff quickly before heading out the door of our school. As I walked down the stairs I saw Mia getting into Danielle's blue Jeep. Hadn't she told me her mom was picking her up? Had she lied to me? I asked myself over and over again until I glanced at Delilah before she got into her mom's car. Her eyes were red, she had probably heard the other girls talking.

On that walk home, it all snapped. 

I hated that I didn't really know many people from my class, that no one could understand Delilah's pain enough to stop with their stupid comments and that all everyone talked about was clothes and parties when I wanted to talk about the real stuff. I hated that my anxiety almost always took control over me and that I couldn't tell Mia because for the past year she had been too busy trying to be Danielle's best friend. The worst thing is that I felt broken and I saw all these broken people around me, but there seemed there was nothing I could do.

All of this and more were the reasons that dove me that summer after Junior year to create the @ diaryofabroken world account. A space where people could share their stories with me and I would post them anonymously. A place where I could really show myself through my words and people could show others they are not alone. Yes, perhaps no one knew who I was, but that gave me the power to be a factor of change without the fear of what others thought about me.

I guess I never expected it to become such a big deal and I never knew what it would mean for me.

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Authors note
Hey everyone! I'm so happy I finally uploaded this first chapter. I probably will fix the flow of sentences later. Two things:
1. Remember you can share your life story as part of the book if you want. It will represent what Beth's ig account would post. Comment here if you are interested.

2. Don't forget to vote and comment!!!