our little mistakes

aemond's letters

131 AC; Two weeks after Verena has left

    Verena,

This is ridiculous, and I hate it. Helena said said that writing out my "emotions" would help me get rid of all this pent up anger that she assumes I have. I tried telling her that I am in fact not angry and that this whole "writing shit out" thing is not going to do me any good. What the fuck is there to write about anyways? I'm only doing this to appease her senses, I know it will make her happy.

My dear sister is insistent in her claims that I have changed since you left. She said that I am angrier now than I was before– a "brooding mess" were her exact words. When I told her that her claims were nonsense, she gave me one of those looks that told me she did not believe me. Not that I care, anyway. Nothing matters–not anymore.

-Aemond

   Verena,

Here I am again, writing in this damned journal. Helena gifted it to me for this reason, had forced me to take it when I refused. When did she become so concerned for my well being? Both Aegon and my mother stay far out of my business.

Not much has happened since you left for Dragonstone. My grandsire, Otto, was not to pleased about your mothers visit. Apparently she made a comment about how your brother would be the leader of the Seven Realms one day. He did not take kindly to that. He said that it was insulting that she paraded her bastard children around the Red Keep, forcing the people in its walls to acknowledge them as heirs to the throne. For some reason, I did not speak throughout the entire conversation, even when Otto had tried to lure me in with comments about my lost eye. Even my mother had looked at me strangely at my lack of insults towards Prince Lucerys.

Maybe Helena was right. Maybe something is wrong with me.

-Aemond

   Verena,

Helena has made her diagnosis on me; she says that I am sorrowful. It is a ridiculous conclusion, is it not? I had to swallow my laugh when she  first told me, for her own sake. To give my sweet sister credit, she really tried to convince me; she had even listed of reasons as to why she thought such things. According to her all I do anymore is mope around and barricade myself in the Citadel.

I can only blame these reasons on you, Princess.

I keep spending my late nights and early mornings in the library, foolishly hoping that you will walk in wearing that absurd nightgown.

The nightgown that I ripped open.

Fuck you.

-Aemond

   Verena,

I do not know why I am pretending to be writing to you. As if you will ever read these silly little letters of mine.

If I sent one to you, would you respond? Probably not.

What have you done to me, Verena? Gods, did you poison with me with something? Did you find and order a witch to hex me? All I have been able to do since you left is wonder when and if you will return one day. Will we be strangers when we meet again? Will you have the face of a new woman when I see you next? I wonder if you are going to be wed off soon. I would not be surprised if you did.

I think I am going crazy.

-Aemond