Dancing in the valley - The joy is in the journey.

Hope in the storm

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

The story of my life rebuild began when my world completely fell apart. My business was in a downward spiral and it was putting a severe strain on my marriage. The person I had my built my life around became cold and distant. The way that ate into my soul was undescribable, but I was maintaining the pretense that I was handling it all. I wasn't and my life was systematically falling apart on the inside. We finally reached a breaking point and an impass from which we could not return. Suddenly the reality dawned on me. My marriage was over and with it my business started crumbling in front of my very eyes. How did it all come undone so quickly.  Surely there were signs, but I just did not see them until years later when I was reflecting as I started rebuilding my life. When negativity hits us our first response I normally to assume the role of the victim and deflect or just go into a flat out state of denial. I think I was caught in both. I saw the red flags, but I never addressed them, cause that would lead to conflict which was something I desperately wanted to avoid. Funny how the very thing you fear and focus on avoiding is the very thing you attract into your life. It was a sad conflict that ended my marriage and I have to say in honesty I handled it quite poorly. It took me years to move past that, but the memory and the pain is still there. But here was the reality I need to accept. My marriage had ended and my business had come undone and that was two severe blows in quick succession, but I still had a lot to live and fight for. I made a decision in that moment to fight to get my life back on track. The hurt and the pain was real and the hopelessness of my situation was staring me in the face in a loud and imposing manner. Like the expression says, when you hit rock bottom the only way from there is up.

I had no clue as to how I was going to do that. There was a firm and concrete belief as to WHY though, and that was all that mattered. My saving grace was the thought of my daughters and the life I so desperately desired to give them. I may not be the perfect father, but the love I have for those two girls is incomparable to anything else in this world. There had to be a way to rebuild and I just needed to figure it out. And thus began my journey through the valley of despair. Unfortunately, I cannot tell you it was a good journey filled with joy, laughter and great song. It was hard and testing and filled with incredible battles and disappointments and at the time of writing the journey is still ongoing. I have learned some truly powerful principles during this journey though and that lays the foundation for what is being shared in this book. As much as I am not the finished article, the growth that I have experienced and share may inspire you to break the mould over your own thinking and beliefs of what is possible for you. Hey, if a socially awkward introvert can learn to cut lose and rise up to be a voice in the valley of despair then I am sure there is hope for you no matter the trials you are facing. We all have our giants and they can feel unbeatable at times. Yet, even in light of our greatest challenges we need to be reminded of one simple truth.  Everything that comes against us; especially in the valley; has already been defeated by the finished work on the cross. What we are seeing in terms of the challenges we face is just the lingering vapour of a deceitful voice trying to steal what was predestined for all of us before time. I am reminded of God's word when He says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. 

I am filled with so much hope each time I read that verse because it reminds me that God has plans (plural) for all of us. I am no longer afraid of making poor decisions and I boldly step into the unknown believing that God has gone before me. And sure, I bump my head and then the guilt and shame set in. But just as quickly as those thoughts attack I have learned to dismiss them. And that is some of the principles and insights gained on my journey that I share with you in the pages that follow. My heart in writing this book is to give you the map or blueprint of sorts of the path I took so that you can be fully equipped to make better decisions as you make your way through the valley. I do not count myself some profound all knowing guru, but simply a man making his way out of the valley and sharing what has helped me to do so. Also, I know sometimes we question whether the mountain is real and if it is, how will we even make it to the proverbial top of the mountain. At present I cannot answer the latter part of that question, but I assure you the mountain is very real. I have seen first hand accounts of people like me and you making their way through the valley of despair and turning their mourning into dancing. Now, please note the goal is not to compare our lives to that of others. We each have our own unique journey, but sometimes we share a view and because of that we can compare notes and learn from others so we can move quicker through our own valley. The great challenge comes in not knowing where the next step is and that has been the greatest learning for me. I have always been guilty of leaping before I look and ended up paying dearly for it. Then I would sit and sob about how unfair life is and how it's all rigged against me. This was one of the attributes that was holding me back in life. I recognized early on if I am going to make it out of this valley, then that belief would have to go. This is where I want to share the first insight with you. We are 100% responsible for choices. The outcomes in our lives are a direct result of our persistent believing, thinking and speaking.  For as a man thinketh in his heart so is he - Proverbs 23:7.