daddy issues that's a bit of a deprecating way to to put it don't u think? it's a loss u feel forever when your childhood years are spent feeling like you're freewheeling through the stratosphere when he doesn't show up and the only times he does, it's to remind you how much of a fuck up you are anger anger anger apology apology apology I was 9 when I looked up the term guilt gift And I told my mom about it the earrings and the chocolates he would bring us from his trips abroad guilt gifts, labeled and dismissed I was soft then but I'm not now it's resolve, hard cold resolve I won't ever let myself love him No matter how hard he tries now No matter how plaintive his eyes get No matter how many times he sits in front of me, on the blue couch in our living room, beige walls and paintings of flowers behind him, and looks down at his hands as if he can make them undo the damage My father The pathetic patriarch the longer i look at him, the smaller he seems to get Daddy issues is a rich fucking term it gets thrown at me by those who feel slighted by me, they feel I took something from them, that I wasted their time, and they say it's my daddy issues sure, whatever, i have issues with my daddy, who would've guessed? look at the people I kiss Look at the stacks of notebooks filled with messy handwriting Look at the chewed tops of my fingernails the books I read, the shows I watch, the manner in which I relate to the world I'm always looking for a strong man even in women even in myself don't cry, don't trip, don't falter real men I'm a real man More than he ever could be
( so, yes, daddy issues are the two stupidest words in the English language strung together and i would like to burn them off humanity's collective memory )
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