Part 2 of Rei's Conversation Partner

Journal Entries

I got to see Rei-san again today! Yuri-san brought me out to the garden to play with her. This time though, she was holding some letters, it was surprising since she usually doesn't bring them anywhere but her room.

She started talking about him too! Apparently he's a lot like me, that's a bit strange to me though, I hope I'm not causing her any problems..., I heard about her story in the past, I understand what happened, I feel bad that I remind her of him. But she's not angry at him or even scared of him, so I guess it's not too big of an issue.

Rei-san told me that I might be able to meet him! He doesn't really come to the hospital though, apparently he blames himself for her breakdown..., its hard to believe that he'd blame himself for something that happened sooo long ago, I don't really get it.

-

A few other symptoms have appeared, these ones are really gross too, they always end up keeping me up at night, not only that it's hard to breath sometimes... 

Today Dr. Yuri openly worried for me, when he noticed me rolling around in my bed, unable to keep my eyes closed, he hesitantly pulled me close to him. He laid in bed with me the entire night, though he fell asleep after a while, I still wasn't able to sleep. It hurt to close my eyes for some reason... I enjoyed the warmth that came from him though...

-

A strange feeling crept into my chest after a while. I wasn't able to sleep much anymore, I'd end up falling asleep when I stayed up for way too long..., but it was always difficult to stay asleep. Dr. Yuri sometimes had no choice but to wake me up too, he was worried that I'd end up passing away in my sleep... I really feel bad for him now...

-

My body started to feel strange one night..., like I was getting stabbed by needles..., It wasn't the nicest feeling. In the other future I didn't really feel anything, since my body remained unfazed. But..., now that I'm actually going through it..., it actually kind of hurts...

I don't want Dr. Yuri finding this out, but it seems that he's noticed me slowing down some times...

-

I looked into the mirror when I went to the bathroom today, my eyes had once again faded. I was surprised when I noticed. They weren't green anymore! In fact they were completely white! That definitely wasn't normal, it almost looked like I was blind, though I guess not all blind people lose the color of their eyes, so that's not the greatest description...

-

Dr. Yuri's been staying even closer to me lately. He must not want to let others near me, them finding out that I wasn't lying could be bad for me, I'd rather not go through anymore tests. Especially since I'm in the state that I am..., they may actually end up finding something.

My illness is actually noticeable now, my eyes are completely faded and even my hair is starting to turn completely white. Sooner or later I'm going to look like a ghost rather then a living girl...

-

The ringing in my ears won't stop..., I've tried many different things, but it never disappears, it's kind of difficult hearing things with them always ringing like that. Dr. Yuri recommended a few different things, but even those didn't work. I started getting headaches from it too... 

-

My hair finally changed..., the doctors around me can only look at me with worry now. Yuri-san barely lets anyone but Rei-san by me now..., I feel bad that I can't help the other patients anymore... 

-

I've started loosing weight, Dr. Yuri's tried just about anything to help me, but nothings been working..., I'm scared..., I'm really scared. I'm not sure if I want to leave anymore...

Scratch that..., I gave up hope on finding any cure a long time ago, I should be happy that I'll help the world after I'm gone..., like I was happy before..., I did all of this, I can't turn back now, especially since it's already so close... 

But..., I really don't like the pain...

-

I got to visit Rei-san again today! This time I met someone while I was going there, he was reeeaaaallllyyyy tall! Even taller then Dr. Yuri! He seemed startled when he saw me, I hope I didn't scare him...

He told me that he was Rei-san's husband..., I was a bit worried at first, but he didn't seem mean..., in fact, he looked worried for me...

He was very warm, It's been a while since I've felt so warm, my body lost all it's heat a while ago. I think it's already been over a week since then...?

Anyway! When I entered Rei-san's room, apparently she didn't know he'd come to visit her! She told me that I'd helped her even without trying. I didn't really understand that, but I smiled none the less..., he entered the room really slowly, like he was afraid to be there.

I found out why when Rei-san mentioned him not visiting. I couldn't help but smile as she told him who I was and how he looked slightly hopeful for something in that moment. But when he asked her to come home, she told him no, so it must have been a bit difficult for him after that. 

So like any other sane person would do in an awkward situation like that one, I changed the subject! I asked to go play in the garden!

I hadn't been allowed out there that much again, since it'd started getting colder. I heard that the gardener planted some flowers for me a while ago too. He said that they looked just like me!