Tequila Talkin' (Rick Grimes)

nineteen

'Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness they are a sign of pure heart'
Jośe N. Harris

Violets POV

     Today was going to be spent cleaning out bodies and getting the main part of our area cleaned up. It was scorching hot out, we were all sweating bullets as we dumped bodies into a pile. Hershel was doing well and it made us all feel good knowing that just three days later he was alert and eating. We all cracked jokes as we caught Glenn and Maggie in the watch tower calling them down to come help.

     Rick had made it noticeable to the group we were together and it didn't change a thing except to Lori. She had hope Rick would come around but he didn't. I know she wants her family back and a part of me feels bad for her but the other part of me doesn't want to give up this happiness.

      I went into the courtyard with Carol and Tdog to get a few bodies. We saw Beth, Lori, Carl, and Hershel come outside. He was on crutches and doing so well. We all couldn't be happier. That lasted just a moment. Rick and I shared a moment of looking at each other and just smiling when Carl yelled. I turned around and there were walkers coming right towards us.

     "Go now!" I shouted and followed Maggie, Lori and Carl inside after shooting a couple walkers. We got into our cell block but it was flooded with walkers too. We were pushed into the tombs and just soon after a loud alarm started bouncing off the walls. "What is that?" Carl questioned. Lori held onto the wall like she was in pain. "Is it the baby?" Lori just nodded. Walkers turned the corner and we were forced into the boiler room. They couldn't get in.

      Lori was about to have this baby right here. Right now. I did not want to be present for this but this is the hand I've been dealt. "Lori let's lay you down." Maggie stated. "No the baby is coming now," Lori replied.

     "We have to go back to our cell to have Hershel help." Carl insisted.

     "We can't risk getting caught out there. You're gonna need to give birth here." Maggie said and then looked at me. "You were an EMT before, you have to have training."

    I nodded "I've never delivered a baby and it's been a long time. Have to check if she's dilated. Hershel taught you that, yeah?" I told her. She nodded. We got Lori down and her pants off. Maggie checked but there was nothing but blood. "We have to get her back to dad." Maggie stated.

    "I won't make it." Lori replied, panting in pain.

     "Lori, with all this blood, I don't even think you're fully dilated yet, no amount of pushing will help." Maggie told her.

     " I know what this means and I'm not losing my baby you gotta cut me open." Lori looked at us.

     I shook my head. "No Lori you won't make it."

      "We don't have a choice." She replied. "Please..... my baby has to survive, please my baby for all of us, Maggie, Violet please!"

     "I can't be the one to do this." I shook my head with tears in my eyes.

    "You see my old c-section scar?" She motioned to her belly.

     "I can't." Maggie sobbed.

     " You can. You have to. Carl? Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right. Now you, you take care of your daddy for me, all right? And your little brother or sister. You take care-" Carl cut her off. "You don't have to do this." He said.

    "You're gonna be fine... you're gonna beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong, and your are so brave and I love you!" The two hugged, sobbing. "You got to do what's right baby, you promise me you'll always do what's right. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world so don't, so if it feels wrong don't do it. Don't let the world spoil. You're so good you're my sweet boy the best thing I ever did. I love you! I love you, you're my sweet boy I love you. Okay, okay... now Maggie, Violet when this is over you're gonna have to.." Maggie shushed her. "Violet, you take care of Rick, okay? You make him happy. I want him happy. Let my family be happy. Take care of him. Promise me?"

    I nodded "I promise you." Then everything started happening so fast. "Goodnight love.." she whispered as Maggie made the initial cut. I was there to assist her with this. I just couldn't do it. It couldn't be me. Lori was screaming in pain, her body quivering before she went silent. Maggie pulls the baby out, it's a girl. Carl handed me his shirt to wrap the baby in and I handed her back to Maggie. Carl insisted on being the one to shoot Lori so we waited by the door. Hearing the gunshot felt like a kick in the gut. He walked past us, stone cold.

    We made our way out and back to the courtyard. Everyone was there except Tdog and Carol. Rick heard the crying but noticed Lori wasn't beside us. He looked at me, tears rolling down my cheeks, I just shook my head. His face went cold and body went down as he sobbed on the ground. It broke me to watch the man I love break down like this but I knew better than to comfort. Just let him be. He lost his longest friend today, once lover, mother of his children. I'm the last person he'd want around.

       He grabbed his hatchet and bolted inside. Hershel was concerned about the baby. I just sat on the ground as everyone around me made a plan. I didn't know what the future held for us now and we just lost one of our own, maybe three. Carol was missing. They found Tdog's body. I couldn't bare the feeling I had from being there when she died. He can blame me that we didn't protect her better or do more to save her but we did all we could do. I stood up and instantly puked off to the side. Beth came over and rubbed my back. "Let it all out." I slid down the wall and she sat beside me and just held my hand. She held it all evening.