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I sat quietly on the forest floor, watching Grogu try to catch bugs in the grass. The bug he managed to catch slipped through his fingers making me smile.
Is it normal to feel guilty?
My smile fades. Feel guilty for smiling. I picture my mother here. Sun bathing, basking in pure bliss as she lays next to us.
I wonder what she would say. Would she play with my hair? Would she tickle me? Give me a smile or simply close her eyes and enjoy this peaceful moment.
He looked at me as I looked down and away. "Sorry." I mumbled. He cooed and went back to the bugs.
Night was falling upon us, my body cold as the slave clothes I wore did nothing to keep the chills away. My cheeks turned red, hot as tears threatened to fall as they always did.
I felt embarrassed, ashamed, at my attire. Today, I received many looks upon those we passed by when heading into the village to eat.
My title- who I am-no, was- making me feel like an outcast. With this outfit I'm labeled and dirty. It is as if my past is following me along this new journey and I loath it. I want to be rid of my old life. My old self.
Is self-loathing normal?
My mother self-loathed, hence my name.
I felt something heavy and warm being draped over me as I let out a startled gasp. Looking up, I watched Mando walk back towards the ship- his cape missing and now resting over my shoulders.
I didn't hide my smile.
€
Night was here, I carried needed supplies into the ship. Going up and down the ramp as Mando did the same.
Eventually, we finished and he started tweaking things on the exterior of the ship- making sure everything would run properly before we ventured out for who knows how many days.
Once again, I sat on the grassy floor, enjoying the feel of grass and dirt rather than the old hot sand I was used to. This planet amazed me, it was much different than my old home. It's a shame we'd have to leave it.
The lush green brought me a sense of peace, I felt more connected to Earth as it felt alive. I closed my eyes taking deep breathes. I could hear the forest beneath me, I could feel it breathing.
Maybe I was day dreaming, but the Earth called to me. It felt so right to have my fingers dug into the moist dirt and feel so tranquil and in tune with the atmosphere around me.
"We'll find a better place." My eyes gaze up to Mando, who stares at me from his spot near the ship he's fixing.
