In the Shadows

Chapter 53

(Author's Note: If you would wish to listen to Chapter 53 on audio, please click the video. Thank you and enjoy!)

  The entire week I have not seen or heard from Chris and I'm thankful he has left me alone for this long. I spent most of my time going to work, cleaning the house, walking Sadie, and even going to the gym. I knew I couldn't waste my time constantly thinking about Chris or I would have driven myself crazy. 

  The rest of the day is exactly the same: clean, work, walk my dog, and go to the gym. Although smashing my fists into a large red bag repeatedly has helped with my anxiety and has not had me overstressed about Chris. Yeah, my routine sounds boring, doesn't it? 

  Okay, maybe I am in denial. I have been containing my thoughts, for the most part at least, all week. However, it's becoming harder and harder to do so when he keeps creeping his way into my head of him being part of the Mafia, and let's not forget his BDSM lifestyle as well. It was driving me fucking mad and the only way to stop thinking about him was to hit a punching bag or clean.

   By Monday morning, I get a text message from Camille asking if I want to meet her for breakfast. What the heck? It beats staying at home all day and thinking about... him. My thoughts drift off to a place where Chris took me on a date and we would go have breakfast or go see a movie. He would put his arm around me and kiss me on the forehead, telling me that he was proud that I was his.

  Get over it! That man you dream of will never be Chris. He's part of the Mafia! How could you be with a mobster, you crazy idiot? My subconscious shouts, bringing me back to reality, and she's right. How could I be with him knowing what he is? 

   I sigh as I reply back saying, okay, I'll see you in a bit. 

  I take more time to get ready today and Dutch braid my hair before putting it in a ponytail. It's supposed to be cold today, so I wear an oversized black sweater and leggings, then I drape a peacoat over my shoulders. When Camille pulls up, I slip on my black boots, grab my purse, and head out the door. 

  "Holy Moses!" Camile exclaims while sitting down. Her thick black hair is swinging from side to side in its ponytail as she shakes her head.

   "I know right? But the only thing I could think of was to get out of there," I shrug.

   "Then what did you do?'

  "Well, of course, I couldn't really run from that situation, so I told his sister I would go to the ball."

  "This is so huge! I have never been to a ball before. You're such a lucky girl, especially to be going with someone who bought you your own dress."

  Lucky? I wouldn't say that I am anything but lucky; I think to myself as I swirl my fork around my spaghetti and eat some, however, I am not really hungry.

   I couldn't bring myself to tell Camille the real reason why I haven't been socializing with her all week or longer than a week. I know if I told her about Chris being part of the Mafia, I know one of Chris's family members or whoever the hell works for him would have hurt her or worse, have her killed. Not to mention his BDSM lifestyle, although I didn't want to tell her that information since I believe it should only stay between me and Chris. No one needs to know about our lifestyle. Well, his lifestyle, since I do not know if I still want to be a part of that, however, I wish I could tell her the truth. I did tell her about the ball -if I am still going- but I cannot tell her about what is really going on. 

   I know Camile will try to read my expression, so in order for her not to know that something is bothering me, I try my hardest to look happy, but inside I feel torn like someone is ripping every part of the cell in my body and I can't escape my past or what is to become of my future if I decide to be with Chris.