In the Shadows

Chapter 50

  "I explored this kink when I was 18, I did have vanilla sex when I was 16... My first experience was when I accidentally crossed paths with my first dominant at a restaurant when I graduated high school. She introduced me to the life of BDSM. My first thought was to run away fast- she must be some masochist freak with an underground chamber. Probably the same way you thought about me when I first showed you my lifestyle," he shrugs.

  He's not completely wrong about that- it did freak me out at first, but I'm gradually getting used to the thought of having a BDSM relationship. Maybe it's not torture as I always thought, but something more that could be beautiful, not to mention an arousing thing to try. Although, I am a little worried about the punishment part. Okay, a lot worried. 

  He continues. "But it turned out to be a beautiful thing, the idea of being tied up and dominated was very fascinating. I didn't quite understand the entire concept just yet, and I didn't realize it wasn't just sexual activities until I learned from it and her teaching me.  Indulging in a dom and sub relations makes it much more satisfying as well as having a solid foundation of trust, communication, acceptance, and complete understanding of each other's needs."

  He stares at me, his eyes abruptly more focused. "She opened up my life to a whole different world I didn't think possible until now and has taught me profound things about myself, and even life. It's my world to escape reality and become a dominant or a submissive, yes, it's my reality but people in my life don't know about it such as my sister and I wish to keep it that way."

  I agree with not telling anyone about our private details as well. "How long were you with her?" I ask.

  "Just two months, but after exploring that lifestyle, I wanted to learn more, so I went to BDSM communities, and then attended classes. When I went to the workshop and each person was asked to take turns spanking the other's backside. I found myself completely repelled by the idea of spanking her behind, but totally turned on when it was her turn to spank me," he says real casually. "I realized I wanted to explore the flip side of becoming a switch. With other partners, I've felt submissive, and just like the standard dom/sub dynamic, finding pleasure as a switch comes down to the consensual transfer of power. Power play or power exchange depends on who you are with, and you can have dynamics with others such as deciding to give up or get control of authority, but again it's about consent and setting boundaries to agree on this. In my case, I've played both the submissive and dominant roles with specific partners who were also into switching."

  "But why do you like punishment?" I question. I get what he means by switching, but I still don't understand why he feels the need to punish. 

  He pauses for a minute, his face thoughtful. "As you may have read on the paper, punishment is my soft limit, it helps to know the rules and learn from our mistakes. It also helps a dominant to train their submissive. When a submissive does something wrong, you punish them to teach a lesson. On the other hand, you provide encouragement and reward for those things that they do right. It means we both understand the rules and our expectations."

 "What are the sort of rules you have?" I ask him.

  "Every dom has their own rules," he shrugs. "You like reading a lot, so I would ask you once a week to spend an hour alone reading your favorite book."

  Hmm, that seems reasonable enough, I wouldn't mind doing those set of rules if those were his orders.

  "But if you agree to be my sub, you always have the power to decline being punished," he exhales, audibly. "Although, if a dom does not have the power to enforce behavior, and there aren't any expectations for the sub to live up to, then it's not really a dom and sub relationship. If I am being honest, at first, I didn't like being physically punished. In fact, there were times it really fucking pissed me off. In the past, there have been moments when it just made me feel like I was being treated like a child, which, in turn, made me feel resentful and angry. However, punishment is not intended to make the dominant feel good. They may get a thrill out of spanking your ass for excitement, but correcting you through punishment or consequence is a responsibility with the intention of shaping your behavior and improving you."