Kiss of Death (fanfiction)

Chapter 1

It was quite, too quite, not even the birds were singing their joyful songs. I should have known then that something was off. Birds always go quite when predators are near. But I was stubborn, maybe even a bit naive to think that we could take out two nobles and a dozen of their foot soldiers all by ourselves without calling for back up. I wanted to proof that we had what it takes to become an elite squad. My teammates trusted my judgement and my confidence that we could take these vampires on without any help. It was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life and I still live with that burden of regret. My friend's screams as their life's were sucked out of them still hunt my dreams at night.

The door slams shut and I flinch back into reality. My back automatically straightens and my chin lifts, I can not show weakness now, this is my only chance at making things right again. I was sitting in an uncomfortable chair in front of his desk, I made sure to shift my body a bit to seem more relaxed and confident. Lieutenant Guren had entered his office and walked around his desk, but instead of sitting down in his big leathery chair he decided to stand by the window, to look out over the courtyard.
"Miss Takahashi, I was informed by the medical staff that you have fully recovered physically, to that I wish to congratulate you. With your injuries the doctors were almost certain you would not survive, but here you are." Guren turns around and looks me up and down, maybe still imagining me almost dead in a hospital bed covered from top to bottom in bandages. He goes to sit down in his luxurious chair and takes out a folder from one of the desk drawers. He takes it out and starts flipping through it, his eyes scanning over the pages as he quickly reads through it. I gulp, those must be my medical records I assume. As soon as the doctors told me I had fully recovered from my injuries I had demanded an audience with the lieutenant regarding my return to the battle field. I had a score to settle, now more than ever.

The lieutenant huffs and puts the folder down on the desk, he looks me dead in the eyes for a few seconds before speaking. "The doctors might have seen you physically fit to get back out there but you are not mentally." My eyes widen in shock and confusion. I had not expected him to start talking about my mental health.
"I am fine sir." I tell him, trying to convince both him and me. He looks at me for a moment again, analyzing me. "Hana, it is okay not to be okay after what you have been through. Your squad was wiped out by a sudden attack and you were the only one to survive, barely at that. Maybe you harbor guilt over that, or maybe hatred towards those vampires, whatever you are feeling it makes you too unstable to put you back out there again. At least for now." I was stunned, I hadn't spoken to lieutenant Guren a lot personally but he did not seem the type to act as a psychologist. I take a deep breath, clenching my fists on my lap, I try to stifle my anger before replying. "With all due respect sir, I do not agree with you. I am fine, and although I do feel hatred towards those vampires that killed my friends it would only benefit me in battle." The commander slams his hands on the table, making me flinch. "Oh yeah? And what if your hatred consumes you? Your only objective is those vampires, you will not be looking out for your teammates then or even yourself. I will not allow you to cause another wipeout of another one of my squads." He said with so much anger and frustration in him. I had to bite my lip hard to prevent myself from crying, the metallic taste of blood started to spread though my mouth. It had been my fault, just as the lieutenant says, and I could just as easily make another such mistake if I don't get my shit together. I brace myself, ready to try and defend myself, to get my second chance, but Guran starts speaking before I can. This time in a much gentler voice. "You may have recovered from your injuries, but after being bed bound for four months your body is not yet ready for battle. I suggest you start training again and at the same time focus on your mental health. I will monitor you regularly and if I find that you are capable to return I will put you in a new squad, but not as leader this time. Do you understand?" It was a fair agreement I assume, my body did still feel weak. Not trusting my voice I give him a curt nod and stand up, straight backed and chin up. With the little energy I have left from this conversation with Guran I thank him and I retreat to the hallway. As soon as I've closed his office door behind me I let out a shuddering breath. That was intense. I eventually found the strength to return to my quarters and went straight to bed even though it was only noon, I would start training tomorrow bright and early. I will show lieutenant Guren I can be trusted out in the field again, and I will have my revenge.