Kiss of Death (fanfiction)

Chapter 28

Hana's POV

Blood. That was all that I could see. Warm sticky red liquid that is supposed to be in a living being is instead covering the walls, the ground, me.
An odor of metal and rot was hanging in the air, suffocating me.
I took a step, and then another, and another.

Screams echoed in my mind. Plees for help, screams of pain, prayers for death. I recognized their voices. I knew them well, they had been my friends, my family. Now I'm walking away from them, leaving them to their demise.

I turn a corner and to my horror I'm back at the scene again. I see it replay over and over again.
Screams, cries, blood.
And I'm just standing there, dumbfounded, unable to move, to help. Just staring from a safe distance as my old comrades are being feasted upon by the vampire nobles and their countrymen.
All my friends eyes are staring at me, accusing me for having led them into this situation.

"We trusted you." One says.

"Why did you leave us?" Another asks.

"Help us!" The third screamed.

Their faces and voices started to melt into something else.
It was suddenly Shinoa, Yoichi, Yu and Kimizuki who were screaming at me those hurtful words.

"Coward!" Yu screamed.
"You should have died instead!" Shinoa shouted.
Blood started dripping out of their lifeless eyes, their ears, their nose, their mouths.
They started gurgling on the blood that was coming up their throats, choking on the thick liquid.

"YOU KILLED US!" They shouted all in unison. The vampires that had been feasting upon them also turned, everyone was looking at me.

"Hana!"
"Hana!"
"Hana!"

They chanted urgently. I wanted to scream, cry, run, kill myself. But I could do nothing as they all crawled closer to me.

"Hana!"
"Hana!"
"Wake up!"

I inhaled sharply, immediately jerking up to a sitting position. My chest felt constricted and I could feel the cold sweat covering my body, the sheets.
I needed air, more air, I was choking.
I big warm hand rested on my back, helping me sit up right.
"Slowly, you are alright, just breath." Crowley's soothing voice came from next to me.
I turn to look at him and was met by his red eyes, looking at me with concern. I quickly turn away, I can't look at those eyes anymore, the same eyes that those murderers have.
"Easy there, you're safe, that's right just breath in and out, good just like that. It was just a bad dream." Crowley says reassuringly. I notice duly that he is tracing lazy circles with his gloveless fingers on my bare leg, his other hand still supporting my sitting position.

When I managed to get my breathing somewhat under control I croaked out a reply.
"It wasn't a bad dream, more a memory, maybe even an omen." I tell him, still a bit dazed. I don't know why I'm telling him this, I despise him, I hate his kind, I hate myself for not hating Crowley Eusford enough.

Crowley suddenly scoops me up and places me on his lap. I try to argue, to get away from him, but he pushes my head against his chest and keeps a strong hold on me. Not able to wriggle free I start listening. The room is so silent I can easily hear Crowley's steady heartbeat under his clothes.
Unintentionally I start to mimic his breathing, further calming myself until I feel like I'm finally able to think straight again.
I slump, my body tired of the intense tension it had been in. Feeling me relax in his arms, Crowley slowly loosens his grip, allowing me to look at his face.

"Are you okay?" He asks, concern evident in his voice. I felt a tear run down my cheek, which is when I noticed I must have been crying in my sleep. My eyes were burning, just like my throat. Had I been screaming in my sleep as well?

Noticing Crowley is still waiting for a reply I give him a tentative nod. "I'm fine. It was nothing." I reply, trying to get off of his lap. He doesn't let me and grips my waist tighter.
"No it wasn't. Tell me, what was it about?"
He asks in a demanding tone. I look down at my hands.
"Hana, tell me." He urges.
I don't know why but I decide to tell him.

"You have seen the people I was with when we first met right?" I ask him. He nods.
"Oh yeah, the raven haired boy who can turn into a monster is one of them right?" I nod, smiling slightly at the memory of Yu.
"They weren't my first squad though. I ended up with them when my old squad was wiped out by a group of vampires." I confess. "They were too strong for us, but I was persistent. I ended up being the cause for all my friends deaths."
I feel Crowley's arm tighten slightly around me. Fresh tears are streaming down my cheeks again.

Crowley picks me up again and turns me around so I'm straddling him. My cheeks heat up at our position but I don't have time to act before he crushes me in a tight hug.
I'm so surprised I forget for a moment why I was sad.
Crowley starts tracing circles again with his fingers on my back. Our skin doesn't touch because of my clothes but I can feel the sparks anyway. It's a comforting feeling and I burry myself into his chest.
"Are those vampires still alive?" He asks me lightly. Even though his voice sounded light, there was a threat there somewhere.
I nod in his chest.
"I've been looking for them ever since but I've never managed to find them, so maybe they are dead, I don't know." I reply.
Crowley hums, as if in deep thought but doesn't say more.

He holds me tightly to him for a long time. Long enough for my tears to dry, my breathing to even, and eventually I fall asleep in his arms, feeling completely at peace.