𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒// 𝒋𝒋 𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒌

²

"I still can't believe that he's gone, you know, sometimes I lay here in his bed and I could feel him, man. I could still feel him and almost everyday wake up from his voice." The blond boy, looked at the ground and just felt an arm wrap around his body. Violet didn't say anything, she just stood there, and made sure that he knew that she was there for him and that he felt his grief.

She had her own moments of grief. Violet has always thought that when you loose someone you love, you just had to push through it and get to the other side, but the time passes it goes on and on and she felt the same way, which made her understand that there is no other side, no pushing through this hard feeling of loosing a friend. Loosing a friend forever. There's just acceptance and absorption. Grief was not something you complete, it was not a race with an end to it. But it was rather something you endure. Grief was not a task you could complete and move on from, it was something that will always be there, an element of yourself. Something that becomes you and you start seeing yourself in another light, with a big part of your heart gone.

Violet sighed deeply and could feel her cheeks becoming wet from the tears that had started to fall from her eyes. JJ wiped his own and just hugged her burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"Do you sometimes wish that you could've done something differently?" Violet asked and JJ looked at her strange and then shook his head.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean John B and Sarah. I could've went to my dad, talked to him told him what was happening, that they were going to put an innocent kid behind bars, he would've helped, he would do anything for me." She said and JJ kept silent, knowing that he had thought about it before too, she could see it in his eyes.
"I also mean you. When you kissed me that night a week ago, at the party when I told you that I didn't wanted it when I didn't kissed you back. I wanted nothing more than to kiss you and hug you, and wake up next to you. But." She started and JJ looked at her with tears in his eyes, which he wasn't letting out. "I'm scared. I'm scared that it will fuck up what we already have, afraid that I will loose you too. I'm sorry." JJ slowly put his hand on the back of her neck and slowly pulled her closer to himself, Violet loosened up in his touch and got closer to him, wanting nothing more than to kiss his lips already. JJ moved even closer and slowly connected their lips.

Violet and JJ had shared a kiss back before the whole John B situation, but this time felt different. This time felt like their first ever kiss and the first kiss was special. It's not like the random kiss from Rafe on their date, that one felt like it was from a stranger. This one was with the person who she've been getting to know and had started to fall for.

Both of them were standing there on the little porch of the Chateau, silence all around them, all that they could hear was their heartbeats racing in their ears. Violet's breath had started to become varied, the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She was freaking out on the inside, hoping that she wasn't going to ruin the moment with a random sneeze or a weird sound. She moved her hands from her thighs to the back of his neck running it everywhere, his doing the same, it was like they were loosing themselves in each other. Their hands felt handcuffed when they weren't running on each other's skin. And in matter of ten seconds she and JJ pulled away. She noticed how red JJ's cheeks has gotten and could feel the heat in hers. 

Violet looked at JJ who was smiling and looking at the ground, she chuckled and just laid down on the floor, JJ looked at her and he let out a giggle, and slowly laid beside her. Violet opened her eyes and looked at him, JJ was already laid beside her and was looking at her. She slowly moved her hand to the side of his face, and looked from his eyes to his lips, than back to the blur orbs. JJ noticed that and licked his lips, knowing that the kiss was coming, but it took her longer than he would've wanted. He saw her come closer to him and JJ quickly connected their lips together.

JJ slowly moved his hands down from the back of her neck, towards her back, then her lower back and eventually he ran his hand to her butt cheek and started massaging it while they were kissing. Violet felt herself deepening the kiss, almost unnoticeable and JJ broke it off. He slowly started to stand up, Violet opened her eyes and slowly sat down looking at JJ, wondering what had happened and why he stopped kissing her. She didn't wanted it to stop. JJ cleared his throat out and put a hand forward for her to grab. Violet chuckled when she looked at the big smile plastered on his face. Violet grabbed his hand and stood up.

"Let's go inside." He said almost in a whisper and turned around wrapping his arms around her little body, lifting her up. Violet started laughing as he quickly carried her inside the Chateau kicking the door behind him and laying her on the bed. He hovered above her and what happened next was something that she would never forget.

That day in the Chateau was her first time, she didn't felt scared or awkward, she felt wanted, she felt like she was on top of the world. It wasn't like what she had seen in the porn videos, she sometimes watches when she's bored, it was more real, it was something both of them would never forget, even though that it was obvious that she wasn't his first, but she was someone he could never forget.

JJ took his time, he made sure to make her feel good and to ease any anxiety left, he wanted to have her so bad, he couldn't wait, but he had to. He wanted to make it special for her, he wanted her to be absolutely sure that this was what she wanted. And when he was, they had each other.

And now two months later, the night they shared at the Chateau was something that kept them warm in the cold dark nigts, when they couldn't sleep, alone in their own beds 2,730+ miles away from each other. Both going through different every day problems, but always on the back of her mind was him, and in the back of his was always her, from the day she left him.