BANALITY : Draco Malfoy

52

I was not prepared for how painful it would be. When the curse hits me, the wand flies out of my hand. I hit the ground and feel my body convulse. I shut my eyes as tightly as possible. Even though the pain only lasts for as long as the wand is in my hand, my body struggles to recover. It is so much worse than apparating. I'm surprised I don't vomit.

I don't know how much time I have left though. I force my eyes open and pick up the wand off the ground. The spell can only work if I am holding the wand. I have to mean it the whole time, which means I must be aware and ready.

When I'm standing, I hold the wand in front of me once more. I close my eyes tightly and hold the wand as hard as I can, using both hands instead of one. I need to have it.

"Crucio," I say.

The wand backfires on me. My arms are stiff, but my legs collapse beneath me. I close my eyes. My head is splitting. I can feel the pain coursing through me. I might as well have been set on fire. I might as well live a life of perpetually being dragged to the stairs and thrown down.

The pain that I felt that day was imaginary. I never actually felt it. However, I feel this ache. Oh, I feel it stronger than perhaps anything I have ever felt.

Draco's face is in front of mine. I can feel his hands wrapped up in my hair. My breath is hitching, but not from panic. His face is clean-shaven, and his eyes are sharp. He's younger. I am trying not to smile, but only because I can feel my stomach stirring.

The wand is ripped out of my hand and the pain stops, but I can't stop shaking on the ground. My head aches. I try to think about the memory, but I cannot. I'm trying to breathe. My ears are buzzing.

As my breathing steadies, I widen my jaw a few times to get my ears to pop. There is a muffled sound around me. Something is banging. Someone is grunting. I move my shoulders in circles and flex my fingers and toes to try to get back into my body. The sound is getting more distinct. The ground bumps beneath me.

I pry my eyes open, and Ron is on top of Draco punching him in the face.

Like last time, I force myself upright. My legs stumble beneath me, and I crash back into the ground.

"Ron," I tell him. My voice is hoarse. "Stop."

Ron looks up at me for just a second, which is enough time for Draco to elbow Ron in the face. He shoves Ron off and then tries to pry his wand out of Ron's hand. The two continue to tussle on the floor.

"Knock it off," there is no passion in my voice. Really, there is not much of me in there at all. In fact, I can feel my mouth move, but the words don't even feel mine in any concrete way.

Since I know I cannot stand, I crawl over to them, and try to pry their bodies apart. Draco goes to smash his fist into Ron and Ron shoves me aside to get me out of Draco's reach. His movements are rougher than I think he had anticipated because he winces when I slam into the ground. Draco's eyes widen. Something flashes in them. It's the rage.

Now, I force myself between them, really putting my back against Ron's chest because I know that it is going to be Draco who does the real damage.

"Move," Draco insists. He doesn't touch me. "Move."

"You just used the Cruciatus curse on her, you cannot be mad that I push her out of the way of your own bloody fist!" Ron's breath is ragged. I can feel it on my neck through my hair. "You're mental. More mental than I had even expected."