How We Match // Hyunlix

Ten

F E L I X

Hyunjin does try to do better. He's seeking Felix out more, or at least like he used to, and he looks him directly in the face when they talk and doesn't shy away from his gaze when they speak a little longer. The change is subtle, but it's enough for Felix to notice, and for some of the others to notice too. Jeongin, who's never really that interested or hasn't usually been that observant with the relationships around him, watches them closely as they talk one day during schedule, and laugh together, and Felix is sure that it's relief he sees on Jeongin's face.

Chan and Changbin see it too, but they don't say anything, at least not to Felix. He can still see them watching, and they smile at Felix, and Felix smiles back, hiding the sadness that's sneaking slowly into his chest, his shoulders, his arms, like lead traveling through his veins. If this is all he gets, if he gets Hyunjin back like they were before, then he will be happy, he promises, and he will not ache for more, and if he does ache, he will hide it as much as he can.

"Anyone want to come to the convenience store?" Minho asks one Tuesday night in the dorm, after a surprisingly light day, "Sungie and I are going."

Jeongin, who just emerged from his bathroom toweling off his hair, checks the time on his phone. "It's one in the morning," he says as if that's answer enough.

Minho just shrugs, then turns his gaze to Felix, who's only in the living room because he's paused the online game he's playing, looking for something to snack on.

"Nah," Felix shakes his head. "If it's just the two of you I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Hyunjin-ah is coming too," Minho interjects, and it feels a little bit like a test, like he wants to see if that makes Felix more or less likely to join.

Felix fights with himself because it does change something. They spend most days together anyway, but that's different, all their focus is on work and work only. There's never space for just being together as friends, with no cameras around and no instructors that keep the time. Felix is very aware of Minho knowing his answer before Felix even speaks, going by the small smile that's glinting in his eyes.

"Okay," Felix gives in and just lives with the knowledge that he's that transparent. It helps a little that when the thing between Jisung and Minho first started, neither of them had been very good at hiding their feelings or hiding all the times they snuck away to spend time together. It's not the same now, not with only Felix pining, so he's sure Minho will not actually say something. Minho loves teasing, but he's not cruel.

The night is clear and still warm, even when the summer heat is finally gone, and Felix and Minho walk in silence, comfortable enough to not have to fill it with conversation. They meet Jisung and Hyunjin in front of their building, and both are wrapped in their jackets and beanies. Felix is always a little nervous when they step out as a group like that. The chance of being recognized rises, especially with Hyunjin being with them (because he's tall and no one looking at him would just think "oh, he looks like that one idol"), but it's late enough and Tuesdays are rarely so busy.

They start out walking all next to each other until the sidewalk gets too narrow and they have to split up in pairs. Minho and Jisung walk in front, close enough to each other without holding hands, and Felix and Hyunjin walk after, the distance between them only marginally bigger.

"I'm hungry!" Hyunjin shouts to nobody in particular, and then he laughs at himself. "Walk faster!"

Jisung turns around and laughs too, but their group doesn't pick up the pace, all of them too used to Hyunjin's antics, who walks with both hands in his jacket, and with a confidence in his step that Felix has always envied him for. Seeing it now, Felix barely remembers a time when he didn't look at him, didn't study his movements and mannerisms. His facial expressions, on stage and off. He'd done that with most of his members, had chalked it up to being insecure and trying to find his way, but with Hyunjin, he's not so sure anymore.