Heaven on earth (Sws fanfic. Justin x Kellin)

Dark confessions

Tw: dark topics ahead

Kellins pov:
"I'm just...well I'm a very unwanted person I'm basically invisible. Everyone I ever love uses me and then leaves like I mean Jack shit to them! I mean if my own father walked out on me after being super abusive to me what's stopping others from leaving me because I'm the dam problem! I'm fucking worthless and better off dead! No one would give a fuck if the "emo" kid dies. I'm ugly as fuck I don't know why your with me! I have a shitty personality! A shitty body so I starved myself which lead to a shitty eating disorder! A stressed out mother that I can't seem to help and only make things worse for because of my depression and suicidal thoughts as well as anxiety and a s-stupid eating disorder! I should be fucking dead but I've failed so many times at trying to take my life so I started cutting to try to ease the pain and it worked. This is only the stuff I know how to word- there's so much more to this shit. I hate our school as well! All I do is get bullied there for being fucking different! I don't know if I can take much longer!" I was hardly able to word all of what I just said as I was sobbing uncontrollably the whole time. Silence fell after and I felt Justin pull me onto his lap he forced me to sit up and look at him now. He was crying, not a little bit a lot! "Kellin, look at me please and listen to me carefully!" He spoke softly. I whines in response and slowly looked up to meet eyes with him "w-what?...." I weakly spoke to him, he sighed deeply and cupped my face, I reached out and wiped his tears which made him have a small smile for a moment. "Kellin, your not unwanted- no don't even try to speak listen. Your not unwanted, I want you here badly. Your not invisible though you may feel like it at school but your really not! I know I didn't see you at first that's because I wasn't paying attention to anyone in that class, but now I'm all eyes on you. I'm never going to fucking use you or leave you like you nothing" Justin grip on my face became a little stronger but wasn't enough to hurt me at all. Justin deeply inhaled as he went on to keep speaking "Your not fucking worthless though your head is making you think that but so it's wrong. You're not better off dead even if you think you are, people want you here and I am one of those people! You're not ugly either, you're super pretty and you have a great personality honey! I didn't know you went as far as starving yourself, I'm not going to let that go like at all. I'll make sure I'll be there to help you with your eating disorder, because you need to eat even if you hate it. And I can tell you had anxiety so that's not a surprise to me but I'm pretty good at calming you down, look your focused on me right now and your breathing is slowly coming back down! I can help you with this too. Now I didn't know you had depression and a issue with self harm. But I swear Kellin I'm always going to be here for you! You need to talk to me about your emotions. And if you ever feel like you're going to harm yourself or try to kill yourself. You call me and I'll come to you. I don't care what time babe." Justin hands still on my face now as we looked eyes. "I don't want to drag you int-" "don't, your not dragging me into anything! I need you to promise me. You'll come talk to me if you feel this way." Justin has a very stone cold serious tone, I knew he meant every word he said, I just hated being a burden to someone, but what is is worse for me is hurting someone I care about deeply. And well Justin is someone I sure as hell care about. "I promise. I'll come to you...if it's what you really want." I held my pinky out to him, he smiled softly and linked it with mine and locked it "positive it's what I want." He said as he wiped my face I couldn't help but softly blush over how sweet he was. "Now, I'm going to get you a water bottle. And I need to know. Do you have any fresh cuts that need to be cleaned or warped!?" He looked to me clearly wanting an honest answer "no, whatever I have right is almost fully healed. Just a little scabby." I say softly, Justin got up and walked to his fridge to grab me some water. "Okay that's good at least!" He softly handed me the water, I opened the bottle and drank it.
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Justin Pov:
I can't wrap my head around this all! It's so awful, I hate how much he's suffering and it's clear he refuses to reach out for help. But now that I know all this, I'm going to be the help. I love Kellin so much, I got to do this. I watched as he slowly drank the water, he looked so calm now compared to a few minutes ago, and even though he was sobbing his beauty never left, he was pretty the whole time. "You know...?" Kellin softly begin to speak which caused my head to perk up. "You've got a calming voice Jus, it was easy to focus on when I was freaking out..." he placed the now empty water bottle down as he shyly messed with his long hair, it earned a chuckle and a smile out of me. "Thank you, beautiful I tried to get you to focus on me and I guess I did it pretty well!" I say all smiley being proud of myself for comforting him. I felt a pair of soft lips now on my cheek for moment which caused my face to turn a little bit red. He now smiled at me "that's the best I can do for a thank you at the moment! Actually no I can do one more thing." He then leaned in and kissed me softly, I kissed back without a second thought placing my hands on his hips, his arms now around my neck. I pulled him closer fast and then stood up with him in my arms which got him to quickly gasp. We broke apart from the kiss panting a little. "Well ready to go to you place Kels, now that your calm?" I say brushing his bangs out of his face carefully "yeah, I'm ready now!" He smiled sweetly at me, I nodded softly and walked towards my door.