See you in Intramuros

Kabanata 4

You're crying again

Maybe tears are meant to be released, so it will be blown by the wind and all you have to do is to hope that it won't find your way again.

I thought it will be fine to just cry it out til you're numb and tired. I tried to make it numb but it doesn't make the pain go away.

We did win in the quiz bee but I don't know. I feel like I don't deserve to get the praises cause honestly Ash did everything alone.

Ash Valencia

Where are you?

          Nasa bahay na.

Oh okay.

Morning class and I already hating the vibes. I'm sleepy. Mamaya may event para magawaran ng maayos ang mga nanalo at sumali sa mga ganap ngayong buwan.

Late si Ash mukhang 'di papasok. Nanlalaki ang mata ko ng marealize ang sinabi. Ano naman kung late bakit hinahanap ko?

Tsk.

Before it even sinks in to me I suddenly feel the happy aura in the room.

It saddens me as times past by I'm that happy before.. I am them before. Smiling, laughing, and just living. What happened now? Why Am I stuck in nowhere where every steps hurt and every forward is suffering.

Maybe just maybe. Maybe if the other side is the part where all people is loving and purely living I hope that maybe they somehow remember that there's me, existing.

Even though struggling, I'm here. Existing trying to resist and live as if life doesn't burn that much.

How can I be so happy before and so lifeless now?

I suddenly want to be them again.

Masking up and laughing as if tonight wouldn't be hard for them to stop themselves from sobbing scared that someone might hear their begging and whispering hoping that world can heal them somehow.

Do you ever feel left out?

It hurts right?

But do you ever feel the pain wanted to cry but can't? That's more painful because all you can do is breathe and sigh to calm your system.

That's how I feel everyday.

The class is very exhausting it is whole day and tiring to listen.

Ash is nowhere to be found in the morning class and I don't know why I care.

I sighed when Ria hugged me from behind.

I'm looking at her with pure boredom but my face suddenly lit up when she smiles before saying.

"Ash is in the lobby with your brother." She said annoyed this time when she saw something from my behind.

I just nodded before continue walking there's a basketball game in gymnasium and we're gonna watch.

Ash is playing too, why do I have to mention that? Really Cielo? All you could think of is Ash?

I sighed after sitting down. The game is already starting when we settle in the seats. Ria keeps on talking about their failed report because of our terror Biology teacher but it was fine since it should be our part to study our reports and take full responsibility of knowing our parts but it shouldn't be done that way.

It's a terrific way of reporting and full of silence in the whole classroom.

"Buti magaling si Ash at natambakan nila ang kuya mo!!" Sigaw ni Ria matapos ng laban napaismid nalang ako dahil sa sinabi niya.