I'm gonna throw up. I actually wanna explode into itty bitty pieces rn. Why can I not be attracted to boys? why is it so hard for me to like them? I thought I found the right one. why isn't it working? I wanna scream this isn't fair. This is sickening. why is it so hard to the lesbian? why. the thought gives me anxiety every time to think of the possibilities.
Sometimes I wish I had a choice.
It just doesn't make sense. Why can't I just turn normal? Like everyone else? Why me? Why me?why me? This is horrible. I absolutely envy the people comfortable in their identity. Why isn't that me? Why can't that be ME? What am I doing wrong? Why can't I overcome it? I'm actually losing my mind asking myself these questions.
Maybe it's a mental illness I said, maybe I haven't found the right man, I said, I should give them another chance so I can change I said, maybe I should force myself to like them again I said.
NOTHING IS WORKING. CURE ME. FIX ME.
