I'm a coward.
I feel my wrists itch for pain, it takes my mind off of all else
I need help
I miss him, he hasn't been around for a while. I know he's going through hard times but I need to see him. He's a light at the end of the long dark tunnel.
And she's my lantern, bouncing and bright as she moves along with me through the darkest times.
And then there's her. I'm scared about my connection with her. I think I love her, but I don't want to love. I want to stay as far away from that pain as possible, but at the same time it is a comforting warmth. I feel that warmth around her.
We've grown close, she trusts me. But I don't trust myself. I need help, what do I do? Do I chose to open myself up to someone and risk them hurting me like the others? Or do I stay away and keep to myself like I have learned to?
I'm addicted to her, she keeps me coming back every day. I miss her when I don't see her and talk to her as much as I can. But I'm scared
I'm scared that she'll see what a freak I am.
I'm scared that I'm unlovable
I'm scared that I'm insane
I'm just scared
And I'm terrified of one big thing;
The monsters in my head, and how she'll react if she finds out about them. How can you love a crazy person? It's simple
You can't
