ISHK PAR ZOR NAHIN - THE TALES OF LOVE♥️

PART 49 ♡

I again changed the chapter name.

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GUILT

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° S A K S H I °

Grief and guilt. A powerful combination and living with it was as difficult and impossible as crossing the seven seas of the world by swimming. It feels like you are swimming in the ocean of guilt and grief and regret.

The ugliness of life is that sometimes we can't undo what has been done. It doesn't matter how devastating the outcome is; we can't turn back time - can't change the past - can't fix the future. I have learned that grief is just a stage of coming to terms with the situation.

Just like Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. Except.

It's been four days since Ishqi returned home, helping everyone in the preparation for Kartik's and mine engagement. Yes! our engagement, Kartik had finally proposed to me Again a few days ago before Ishqi had gone to Massi's house. It wasn't any fancy type of proposal but sweet and simple. We were in a park watching the sunset when Kartik knelt in front of me from nowhere asking me to marry him. In three days is our engagement.

Three days! and now I'm feeling that it's too soon. I don't know why but it feels soo wrong to start a relationship with lies and regret.

I'm here today trying to talk to Ishqi but couldn't rather than if it was something related to decoration. don't know what I'm scared of, might be it the guilt and regret of what I have done to her in the past months to her family. Also, I didn't get alone time with her since she came home, and now it was a perfect time as she was in the backyard helping and instructing the workers on the decoration of the stage. no one was there except the workers and me standing at a distance. Just when she turned back she noticed me.

"Aree Sakshi waha kyu khadi ho? Yaha aajo" She called me with a happy smile on her face which made me feel more guilty.

Plastering my fake smile cause I couldn't think about smiling genuinely, I walked towards her, "Kuch nahi bas aese hi sab dekh rahi thi ki tum aur kitna kaam karogi. Ishqi thodi der keliye toh rest karo yaha ham sab sambhal lenge" I hold her forearm and took her to the patio and made her sit beside me.

"Kartik ki Shaadi hai aur uski Shaadi mae mai aese hi baith ke sab kuch dekhti thodi rahungi" Her cheerful voice made me almost smile. Almost.

"Kartik ki hi Shadi nahi hai meri bhi hai, par tum toh sirf Kartik - Kartik hi kar rahi ho" I pouted playfully.

"Aesi baat nahi hai Sakshi mai tum dono keliye khush hu, tum samajh nahi rahi ho agar Kartik nahi hota toh mai aur Ahaan kabhi ek nahi hote. Usne jo mere liye kiya hai na voh aaj tak kisi ne hi nahi kiya. AVM ne bhi nahi kyuki uski wajha se I toh AVM meri Zindagi mai hai" She smiled faintly looking down at our hands that I didn't realise we were still holding.

"Mujhe pata hai, mai toh sirf mazak kar rahi thi tumne toh seriously le liya" I squeezed her hands in ensure and smiled to which she returned me with hers.

"Mujhe bhi pata hai Sakshi! mai toh bas tumhe bata rahi thi. Kartik ne hamare liye, mere liye bohot kuch kiya hai, who toh ek alag hi insan hai apne hi duniya mai bas sabko apne bematlab aur faltu jokes se khush karne mai tula hua hai" She laughed making me smile lightly."Khete hai jo sabse zyada hasta hai aur dusro ko hasata hai wahi sabse zyada hurt hota hai, bas tumhe yahi bolna chahti hu ki tum please kabhi bhi Kartik ka dill mat todna."Her last line was like an arrow in my heart, making me die drowining in the ocean of guilt.