La Santa Muerte. {COMPLETED}

An opp

lourdes sat down ..

lourdes: lay back and close your eyes and imagine her standing in front of you

she hesitated but listened ..

lourdes: im sorry for all the wrong doing for all the abuse .. i was never loved as a child never shown love or cared for i was unfit and i took it out on you i didnt deserve you .. i deserved what happened to me you had every right to kill me the way you did .. you can let me go you can forget about me let it all go

maricela broke down crying lourdes hugged her tight maricela pushed her back and shook her head

maricela: last thing i needed was to see her .. she wouldve never said that

maricela sat herself up

lourdes: you'll never get better if you keep holding on to this hate

maricela: you grow up being abused and neglected then come fucking talk to me

lourdes: i understand but you carrying this hate will only make you more sick

she shook her head

maricela; ill always hate her .. i had a future i had something good going for me and she destroyed but i do wish she was alive

lourdes: wait what?

maricela: yea so she could see how successful i got after her belittling me my whole life .. thank you for trying to help me i do feel relaxed  i just dont know if i can let it go

she nodded and helped her up and walked out

lourdes: i want you to drink this tea it'll help with the pain and more relief mija .. but you should practice on just letting go moving on your peace is more important

she nodded as she took the bag of tea

maricela: thank you ..

she walked back to the front

marta: are you mad? you look mad?

maricela: no lets go its ok

they left she stayed quiet on the drive back lost in thought

marta: are you ok? how did it go?

maricela; im not saying shes wrong shes not i do carry a lot of anger and hate and she tried to help me just move on and let my mother go but i dont i can never do that

marta: why do you say that?

maricela: how do i let it go? she hurt me for so long im still so angry i had to learn to be a mom I had to learn to love it affects my relationships and I pray it doesn't affect my babies? .. how do I let go?

Marta: you already are your not your mother your ten times the women and mother to these lil ones your so loving and caring to them it came natural to you relationship wise that I don't know?

Maya: hey mari?

Maricela nodded at her as she drove

Maya: I'm no one to talk but I get it I hate my mom she sold me off I loved her and I still do I'll never know why she did what she did but I forgive her I guess.. because if she wouldn't have never done it I would've stayed stuck like she was stuck in the addiction in the sadness and abuse

Maricela:think about it like this ok i love you and im happy i was there to save you and im happy you came into our lives but i wouldve never wanted to meet you the way i did babygirl .. yea im grateful for the life i have now but that damage is something else but ill heal with time and just continue on i know eventually the nightmares will go away

marta: they will mija they will but you better drink this dam tea it helps

maricela: i will i promise

she got them home .. the day went by

giovani: so how was it?

maricela: i dont wanna talk about it but i got this tea with the meds and its not getting to me as bad so thats a good thing right?

giovani: true true so you ready for tonight?

maricela: oo I am i need to get out and do some work

he nodded

giovani: good cuz shits brewing im gonna take the heat on smokey ok so

maricela looked at him and laughed

maricela: whats brewing and whos crying about it? he did himself in anyone has a problem with it it'll be me they deal with the fuck? haha they think they can have a dam opinion

giovani: tonight should be fun you mad? your grabbing that knife a lil to stabby?

emiliano: what he say now? gio can i not ever leave you alone with her?

he said as he walked into the kitchen

giovani: i didnt do shit haha

maricela looked at the knife in her hand and put it down and shook her head

maricela: im not mad at anyone .. its huh i just need to get out i been in my head all day thinking to much of the past im ok im not mad at anyone but how was dropping off viviana did you guys lose it? scare off the boy?

emiliano: she told us if we walked her all the way she would be mad so we didnt haha

giovani: homeschooling is an option right?

maricela: no homeschooling she loves school its just a crush her first crush too so shh be nice

As night came and she got ready to leave

maricela; nanas downstairs with javi ok? you can stay up and watch this movie but you have to go to bed by midnight ok?

viviana: ok mami but i have a question?

maricela: and what is that?

she asked as she tucked her in and kissed her head

viviana: we're having career day at school and you and daddy get to come to talk about your jobs

maricela: oo ok tell me when babygirl ill tell daddy

Viviana: what is your job though? My crush his names Chris his dads a police officer

Maricela stepped back and tried not to laugh

Maricela:im a business women I own multiple business here and in Mexico tio emi helps me run it so does your dad your tata started a lot of it

Viviana: what kind?

Maricela: there all very different when you grow up I hope I can tell you about it

Viviana: I can't wait to tell him

She nodded and kissed her head and walked downstairs

emiliano: time to go come on get your tea to go

she nodded as she kissed javis head and giovanis cheek

maricela: we have career day and also her crushes dad is a cop

he stepped back confused

maricela: hhm we own many business that we run emiliano runs out south we're business people

giovani: yea yea but an opp?

maya: ok you say no to cholitos and cops kids? come on?

giovani: all girls school babe?

maricela: stop haha ill see you later

he nodded as they left