The 141s Reaper (Simon Ghost Riley Romance)

Chapter 11 - Secrets

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❤️You are all my inspiration❤️

(Chapter songs,
You should know we're I'm coming from - BANKS
To the hilt - BANKS
Contaminated - BANKS)

GHOST POV

Two days. Her and Reds have spent the last two days practically giddy. Dancing around the base like nothing ever happened. Everywhere they go they have those headsets on, connected to Megs computer. I can't... I just...

I need to clam down, I haven't slept since it happened. I've tried but I just can't. I keep seeing her face, eyes glazed over. Slowly escaping my reach. Even though she's out there fine, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I can see them in the north west yard. Sorting through old supply crates and dancing, being stupid. I haven't been alone with her since then either and I just want to hold her and talk to her. Those scars on her wrists. I want her to open up and tell me what's happened to her. Reds said she could open up to me but she still hasn't. Why? Does she not trust me? It's tearing me apart not knowing.

Our mission tomorrow is a location potentially housing general purpose bombs and explosives so we all need to focus. No distractions. These two are distracted and being a distraction. Reds showed impressive skill in the field and in interrogation, plus he had my back with Reaper the other night. I was beginning to like the guy. This just makes me want to put him through a wall all over again.

She revealed her name to me but she hasn't said anything else. Did she want to tell me her name or did she just say that because Reds made her?
My mind is playing  significantly more tricks on me and they are worse than usual. I then see Reds grab Reaper and they start partner dancing.

Snap.

For fuck sake! Something in my mind just splinters and I can't control myself anymore. I walk towards them. My eyes fixed on Reaper and not in a good way. Once I get closer she sees me and turns towards me smiling but it doesn't calm me, it's too late for that.

I rip the headset off her and throw it across the yard. "You need to focus and stop acting like a fucking child!" I shout it straight down into her face. Loud, angry and ruthless.

I regret the words as soon as they leave my mouth. My anxiety, jealously and doubt retreating once the damage has been done. My breathing becomes heavy, I wasn't aware I was holding my breath, now I'm actively telling myself to breathe.

She looks up at me, no sadness or shock in her face. She is calm. She reaches out and hugs me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She doesn't say anything she just stays there for a moment while my body and mind calms down. I really needed this. She releases me and looks up at my face again. Placing her hand on my chest over where my heart is, where she spent hours the other night.

"I'm sorry Simon, I haven't been there for you."

She then looks over to Reds for a moment before she quickly walks away.

Fuck. I grab my head in my hands and sit on one of the crates. Why do I have to fuck everything up. Why does she have to be so understanding and why do I have to be a bastard.

"She didn't tell you anything did she?" Reds says from behind me as he comes and sits next to me.

"I need to apologize too. I was so focused on her I didn't think about how you were doing." He says it respectfully but I don't move.