Fall From Grace: The Dance Thriller, Part 2

I Always Accepted What You Said As Truth

Tacoma, Washington
Saturday, October 11, 1997
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"I officially cannot fucking believe you."

Lindsey had known Christine for over twenty years. He knew when she had had enough.

This was one of those times.

"Chris, you should have seen her last night! She was all curled up in the bed with the dog...the baby was kicking a lot the night before and it kept her up so she was so tired when we got to the hotel...am I just going to blurt it out? 'Hey Stevie, I love you and we're getting married and having a baby but by the way, so is my ex-girlfriend and she's going after you and making threats?' Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Well when are you going to tell her? When your kid with this woman graduates from college? When you're dying and they read the will and this kid comes to contest it? Jesus, Lindsey, time is passing by here...and this woman shows no signs of stopping! Every fucking day that goes by that Stevie doesn't know the truth, she's at risk. She has to know she can't just be wandering around the arena like she does, talking to the fucking crew!"

Lindsey's mind flashed to the footage Mick had shown everyone after dinner at his house one evening that spring during rehearsals, home movies he'd converted to VHS of the Rumors tour of Japan and Hawaii in 1977. At one point Stevie, clearly high on something, was filmed wandering the abandoned arena and talking to members of the crew, offering hugs, twirling and dancing, still in her black dress from the show, until Robin distracted her and pulled her away.

Christine wasn't finished. She said, "She's going to get herself dragged into a dark corner somewhere...or worse. At this point, who the hell knows is Kristen is even acting alone?"

Kristen had sent another letter, this time addressed directly to Lindsey.

I am done being ignored. I am done keeping my distance. Have fun with Stevie in Vancouver. Take some pictures. You'll want to have those memories.

"Marty is on the phone now trying to cancel Vancouver," Lindsey said. "It's too risky. We can have the tickets refunded at the point of purchase, and come back after this blows over."

"Well we're going to come back less a lead singer if this woman gets to Stevie!"

"I know!" Lindsey shouted louder than he'd planned, feeling his face burning and red and throwing up his hands. "Look, Christine...I love her, okay...this is our second chance...our real second chance...no other men or women or cocaine or tranquilizers or backing out of tours at the last minute...or any of the bullshit that's stood in our way for the last twenty years...and there's a baby on the way that deserves two parents and she's so fucking excited, Christine..." He trailed off, thinking of Stevie in the bathtub a few nights earlier, singing "Free Man In Paris" to her belly under the bubbles and explaining it was never too early to make a Joni Mitchell fan out of their daughter.

Christine approached him slowly, a hand extended, thinking he looked like a bomb about to be detonated. "Look, Lindsey...this thing has taken on a life of its own now...it has to end. Tell me, does this woman mean anything to you?"

"No! Jesus Christ!"

"Okay. Did you tell her at any time you saw a future with her?"

"After four dates? Of course not!"

"Did you get her pregnant knowingly?"

"No!"

"Then you have nothing to worry about where Stevie is concerned," Christine assured him. "She'll be upset about the dishonesty, of course...but this can be fixed. She loves you, L.B., although it's times like these when I swear to God I wonder why."

Lindsey exhaled, trying to calm himself down. "Thank you, Chris. Seriously...I don't know what I would be doing right now without you."

"I tell you what," she said, smiling. "I'll waive my usual fee if you name the kid after me."

Lindsey knew she was teasing, but he suddenly saw a flash of a little embroidered pillow, reading in pink letters, Robin Christine. He didn't hate it.

Stevie was on the phone when he got back to their room. She was sitting up in bed, where she seemed to prefer to be whenever they were not on stage or on a plane heading towards the next stage, and the first thing he heard her say was, "We're in Phoenix and on the twenty-second, Mom. Are you and Daddy coming?" She smiled up at him and waved with her non-phone hand as Barbara spoke on the other end of the call. "We can have dinner if soundcheck is all good...I'm going to just tell Marty screw it, I need my mommy. I have so much to tell you! This baby is moving like an Olympic athlete in there, and I need to pick a wedding dress already for God sake and..." She was quiet again as Barbara spoke. "Okay...okay, I'll let you go. Tell Daddy hi. I love you. Bye, Mom." She hung up the phone, her face lighting up as she asked, "Did you get the Twinkies?"

Lindsey smiled and pulled a cellophane package containing two Hostess Twinkies out of his pocket. Stevie had been craving packaged cakes; Drake's Devil Dogs were the next one she wanted after the Twinkies. Stevie applauded, and he burst into laughter and leaned over to kiss her. "I love you, Stephanie Lynn Nicks...even if you eat like an eleven-year-old boy."

"And I love you too for bringing me all of this crappy food no matter what time it is." She practically ripped the packaged cakes out of his hand and tore into the wrapper, bit into the yellow cake filled with white sugary cream like it was the answer to the meaning of life. With a mouthful of Twinkie, she said, "Are you still going to love me when this pregnancy makes me gain back the fifty pounds I lost after rehab?"

Lindsey sat down on the end of the bed, causing Sara Belladonna to move from her spot and move over to towards the pillows to lie down again. He looked at Stevie with an expression that was suddenly a lot more serious than the conversation they'd been having, and said, "Stephanie...listen to me." He took her hand in his, and she quickly chewed and swallowed the rest of her Twinkie, sensing the serious tone. "I love you. We kid around a lot about things, you know - getting fat, get older, and old times when we here all high, fights on the road and times we were unkind to each other - but I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, okay...I love you. I have loved you since I was sixteen years old and my friend Tommy told me to bring my guitar to Young Life because maybe I'd pick up a girl...and I saw the most beautiful girl in the world come up to me with the all the confidence of Janis Joplin and Cass Elliot combined and start harmonizing with me to 'California Dreamin'...and every day of my my life since then has been better than the day before it because it's one more day I get to wake up knowing that I am in love with Stevie Nicks and she is in love with me...and I wouldn't have it any other way, angel."

Stevie looked at him in bewilderment. "Lindsey...sweetheart...I mean...I love you too, but my God, where did all of that come from?"

Lindsey took a deep breath, held both of her hands in his. One finger was sticky from her Twinkie. He looked at her seriously and said, "I have something to tell you, okay, and I don't want you to freak out...you have to think of Baby Robin...promise me?"

"Well jeez, Linds...I guess...just tell me, baby. How bad could it be? I mean, is it you? Are you sick? Is it Christine? She's been looking so exhausted lately...drinking like a fish, and..."

"I'm not sick, Chris is fine...hear me out, Stevie, okay? But please remember, I love you with everything that I am and I always have and always will, and I love our baby and I want to marry you and spend every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you and making up for all those years in the middle when I couldn't."

Stevie could see him trying not to cry as he spoke, and she felt her heart beating like a sledgehammer. "I understand. I love you too. Tell me, sweetheart. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together."

Lindsey took another deep breathe and dove in, praying that when he was finished, The Dance tour wouldn't end up looking like a middle-aged version of the Rumors tour they had seen in Mick's home movies.

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