AMB~she~OUS

FORTY SEVEN [II]

"You are six weeks pregnant, Katherine..."

"...six weeks pregnant..."

"...pregnant..."

The word sat right there in the forefront of my mind, almost mocking me.

How did I let this happen?

How could I be so reckless?

How could I bring a child into such a messy life? I was yet to figure out what to do with the secret that burdened my shoulders, and now to add a child to that plate.

And God, not just any child. Nick's child. A paternity secret I could keep but not a baby. In a few months, I would start showing and the whole world is going to know.

For the first time in my life, I considered running away. It was a cowardly thought but what could I do? My world would eventually come crashing down, it was only a matter of time.

I rested my head in my trembling hands. Abortion wasn't an option for me, no matter how dire the situation was. Everything was starting to weigh on me, it felt so heavy to carry it on my own. I wanted to confide in Alex but I wasn't ready yet, how would I even begin to explain this messy predicament?

A knock on my car window startled me stopping my train of thought.

I rolled the window down.

"Is everything okay ma'am? You have been sitting in here for an hour." A man I recognized as one of our groundsmen appeared.

My eyes scanned around wide with astonishment. I had been so out of it I hadn't realized that I was home already. What was even more surprising was how I had even managed to drive all the way back.

"Oh, I'm alright." I offered a reassuring smile.

"Shall I park the car for you in the garage?" He asked noticing how I made no move to leave and frankly speaking it seemed a bit odd that I was sitting in the car right in the middle of the driveway.

"Yes, thank you." I forcibly dragged myself out of the car and started for the front door.

It took a tremendous amount of strength to make it inside. I felt like my body would shut down on me at any moment. My brain must have been reeling so much from trying to fathom the crazy fact that I was pregnant, so much that I couldn't comprehend the environment around me.

I couldn't even properly take in the presence of the extremely familiar faces in my house.

"...there she is, she has made us so proud..." I didn't catch most of the utterances nor did I spare the visitors a glance.

"...but I didn't... such rude..." I vaguely heard before I was completely out of earshot.

Once in the confines of my bedroom walls, I drew out a heavy breath. It was supposed to help my chest feel less heavy but it felt like something heavier took residence. My feet moved slowly toward the bed, kicking my heels off in the process.

With a heavy sigh, I dropped onto the bed and curled myself into a ball. I slipped one of my hands slowly down to my stomach. Hesitant at first but after a few seconds,  my palms pressed firmer as if to confirm if there was really a human in there.

It was in that moment that my mind started to process the news. There was a small baby growing inside of me, a whole human being. How on earth was I going to bring a baby into this chaos?

And Craig? God, what was I going to tell him? What was I going to tell the world once someone got the whiff of this?
Would Nick and I's one-time affair come to light then?
This would be scandal of the century, how could I possibly bring an innocent life into that mess?