This rockstar life

3.16 Fashion, turn to the left

i - From my head

"So you know that cliche where a woman gets a boyfriend and proceeds to change absolutely everything about him?"

"Yeeeees?"

"Well clearly that's terrible. But... would you maybe... let me change one thing?"

We're in the bath and he sloshes round to look at me. "Depends what it is?'' He sounds deeply suspicious.

"Um... promise you won't be upset?" He just looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"Your, er, hair. Just a bit."

"My hair?"

"Yes?"

"My hair?" He starts laughing, "You looked at the whole of me and my life and decided the one thing you wanted to change was my hair?!"

"Well your life is your own business, but I have to look at you, so yeah. Also I am very shallow."

He settles back, leaning against me and hugging my arms around him. "Go on then, what do you want to do to it?"

"Well, we could make it less... yellow..."

"It's blond!"

"Yeah, no, it's yellow. And you've put so much bleach on it that all the ends are split. So it needs a few inches cut off, as well as a more natural colour. You can still be blond, but less... banana." He hasn't said no, so I plunge into the next bit, which I suspect might be more of an issue. "I know a guy..." he groans (I was right) "who works in a salon in Kensington..."

"I hate hairdressers."

"No, but he's cool. They do a lot of goths and alternative types, so he's used to men with long hair. And I'll stay with you the whole time. There is absolutely zero chance of ending up looking like David Hasselhoff, promise."

"Can't you do it?"

"Haha, no! Have you seen my hair? This is what happens when I cut hair."

"I didn't know you cut it yourself."

"You would do if you ever went in the second floor bathroom. I always get bits everywhere. Debbie gets very cross with me. But this," I twirl a wet yellow strand around my finger, "needs professional attention."

"Ugh. Okay, maybe."

"Thank you." I hug him tighter.

"But, you have to let me change one thing about you."

"Uh oh."

"Come on tour with me. Not just a few European bits, somewhere proper foreign and far away. Australia, or Japan, or South America. I know you're scared. But you'd be with me. And we have people that manage everything. You wouldn't have to say a single word to anyone. You need to see some more of the world."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather cut my hair?" I ask desperately.

"I like your hair."

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To cut a long story short (and long hair shorter, bah dum cha), he eventually gave in to my nagging and agreed to be restyled by Alistair the goth hairdresser (don't worry, he does normal stuff too). With all the existing damage to rectify, it was an involved process and required a lot of complicated discussions about such topics as root shadow and feathering, which Steve just sat and watched happening over his be-foiled head as if we were speaking Swedish. He was not the greatest customer, fidgeting and grumbling about how long it all took, and giving the final result merely a cursory glance, so keen was he to escape from the chair and the polyester cape. But later, when he thought I wasn't looking, I spotted him striking poses in the mirror and looking very pleased with himself (adorable!). So if anyone was wondering how Steve suddenly got amazing hair for the Adrenalize videos, this was it. You can thank me, and Alistair, later!