But I Still Want You {Taekook}

2. Taehyung

Taehyung was in hell. In literal hell. When asked to come to the bar to meet Jimin's new boyfriend's friends, he didn't quite think this was how the night would turn out. As in, him seated right opposite Jeon Jeongguk, his high school sweetheart, who most of the time avoided looking in his general direction - which was a better thing than one might think, because when he didn't, and their gazes met, Taehyung felt like he was pierced right through the heart with an ice pick, with how hatefully Jeongguk glared at him.

Granted, he deserved it. And more. He deserved it ten times over. Which was precisely why he was in hell right now, facing the consequences of the single most important mistake of his life.

Jeon Jeongguk was here.

And fuck if he didn't look like a goddamn model. That, right there, was puberty done right, Taehyung thought bitterly. The round face and bunny smile had disappeared (although there was admittedly no smile at all to be seen on his face tonight) and had made way for the hottest man he had ever laid his eyes on.

A man who hated his guts.

At least, he probably didn't hate him as much as Taehyung hated himself, and had for the past few years. True, he had been young, too young, and way too suggestible, lacking self-confidence, but that wasn't a good enough excuse for the way he'd hurt Jeongguk.

So the most sensible thing to do for now was to lay low, avoid interacting with him, but subtly enough so as not to make it weird, and wait for it to pass. Jeongguk didn't seem really eager to talk to him anyway, and Taehyung was counting his blessings. For now, it didn't look like he was going to get punched tonight, which was probably a good thing.

Or was it really?

Jeongguk ignoring him was something he could say he wasn't used to. After their horrible falling-out, Jeongguk had all but disappeared from his life, but before that, well. There used to be a time when he couldn't take his eyes off Taehyung, and that was always a nice feeling. Maybe the nicest he'd ever known.

Too bad he had been stupid enough to throw away the best thing that had happened to him.

There really wasn't anyone else to blame, and so Taehyung had been ready to bear his cross as long as he had to. One thing he absolutely wasn't ready for, though, was to see Jeongguk again. The weight of his culpability, already heavy, was now crushing him.

And in a weird, twisted way, he almost hoped that Jeongguk would lash out at him and hit him. Maybe it would help them both feel a bit better about everything. Maybe, then, they would be able to get a fresh start.

A fresh start? Don't kid yourself, Kim Taehyung, he thought miserably. As if Jeongguk would want him back in his life, even as a friend. It was painfully obvious, looking at his closed face and furrowed brow, that it was the last thing he would want. He was probably internally cursing the fate that brought them back together.

The saddest thing was that he, Taehyung, would very much like to have Jeongguk back in his life. He missed him. A lot.

He'd never stopped missing him, in fact.

xXxXx

"So, Tae, what did you think of them? Of Yoongi's friends?"

Taehyung glanced at Jimin, who was grinning happily. Namjoon had just dropped them off at the apartment the two of them had been sharing for the past three years, and they were currently waiting for the elevator, which always took its sweet time to come down when called.

Taehyung stifled a sigh. He was really glad that his best friend had finally caught the attention of the cute stranger for whom he had been harboring such a massive crush for the past three months. He'd already met Yoongi a few times and liked the guy, even if he was intimidating and never talked when he didn't need to, unlike Taehyung. And the others were interesting too; Hoseok was like a ray of sunshine, constantly smiling, and Seokjin had an impressive stock of dad jokes to which he laughed harder than his audience, but it was so infectious that the rest of them just couldn't help but follow. All in all, they seemed like a nice bunch, and Taehyung would have had a lovely evening, had it not been for Jeongguk.

"Yeah, I like them. And Yoongi looks very smitten with you. I'm happy for you, Chim."

He probably wasn't showing as much enthusiasm as Jimin would have expected him to, but luckily, his friend was on cloud nine and didn't seem to notice.

"They're amazing, all of them", Jimin sighed dreamily. "I'm so glad he has such good friends! Seokjin was super funny, I feel like I've known him for years already. And Jeongguk, he's a bit shy, but Hoseok warned me beforehand that he would probably be like that, so I wasn't too surprised."

At Jeongguk's name, Taehyung's head snapped up. "Shy?" He croaked, voice cracking. So that was how it looked like to Jimin? Shy, not resentful?

His friend shrugged. "Yeah, I mean, he wasn't very talkative. But Hoseok tells me it gets better when you get to know him, he's the sweetest and funniest guy, apparently." Smirking, he nudged Taehyung. "Isn't he totally your type? When Hoseok told me about him, I thought you'd probably get on really well. And he's hot."

"Yeah, I guess." And he'd thought the hellish evening was over when he'd left the bar. Think again, Kim Taehyung.

"You should ask him to be your personal training coach! How awesome would that be?"

Very much not awesome, Taehyung thought, agonizing. "I'll think about it."

"Are you okay? You seem off."

Great. Now Jimin was staring at him, because of course he couldn't bring himself to make it look like he was a merry ball of happiness. But how was he supposed to talk about Jeon Jeongguk like nothing happened between them and that he didn't know him? How was he supposed to pretend that he didn't break his heart in the worst, cruelest way possible?

For a hot second, he thought about telling Jimin. He wasn't sure his best friend would understand, but he was almost certain that he wouldn't judge him (at least, judge him harder than Taehyung judged himself) and that he would try to support and comfort him.

But here was the thing: Kim Taehyung didn't deserve support and comfort. And telling Jimin felt too much like offloading his burden to someone else. Plus, Jimin seemed convinced they'd make an awesome group of friends, and he didn't want to crush his blooming hope.

"Yeah, sorry, it's just that I drank too much, I've got a bit of a headache."

"Too much? You drank two bottles of peach soju."

"That qualifies as too much for me", Taehyung tried to joke, but his heart wasn't in it.

Finally, the elevator doors opened, and Jimin stepped in, smiling. "You used to party so hard when we were university students. Where did your wild college days go?"

"That's in the past. I'm an adult, now. I'm adulting. I've got a job and all."

"I'll believe that when you'll start washing your dishes and learn how to do your laundry".

Taehyung gaped, shocked. "I know how to do laundry!"

"Oh yeah? Then prove it and fucking wash your own clothes from time to time."

Okay, maybe he'd walked right into that one. He pouted. "I vacuum. And I water the plants."

"Which explains why they're all dead."

"I cook!"

"Terribly." Taking in Taehyung's offended expression, Jimin grinned and clapped him on the back. "Ok, passably."

"I'm never making you anything ever again. You will starve and you'll beg me to cook for you."

"Yeah, yeah. Really though, will you call Jeongguk for personal lessons? I think he'd be happy to have you as a student." Crap. He really thought the matter was closed.

"I will." Never, ever, ever.

It was almost worth lying to see Jimin's satisfied smile.

Almost.