But I Still Want You {Taekook}

11. Jeongguk

Luckily, the next day was a Sunday, so Jeongguk didn't have to go to work and was completely free to stay in bed and mope around, cursing his drunk self and his total lack of judgment.

He'd kissed Taehyung. He'd kissed. Taehyung. How the hell did that come about? How could he go from yelling at him to French kissing him in a matter of seconds? Granted, Taehyung had been mind-blowingly beautiful, as usual, but that didn't change the fact that Jeongguk still resented him very much for what he'd done to him.

Which was why he was now lying in his bed, comforter pulled up over his head, ignoring his cell phone that was vibrating on his nightstand. He hoped to God Taehyung had the good sense of not messaging him after last night, but then Taehyung and good sense never did go well together, and he was too scared to find out.

Or it could be Eunwoo, and he was too scared to find out about that too.

It was a strange thing, this. Because Jeongguk felt guilty, of course, but he mostly felt guilty for betraying his bitter self and giving in to kissing Taehyung. But Eunwoo? To be painfully honest, he didn't even remember he had a boyfriend until way, way after he came back home and started pacing in his shoebox, panicking about the fact that he'd kissed Taehyung. Eunwoo hadn't crossed his mind then, and even later, he kept forgetting about him.

Sighing, he slid a hand out of the blanket and grabbed the phone.

No messages from Taehyung whatsoever, thank fuck. About half a million from Seokjin who was wondering where he was and if everything was okay and by God if he didn't reply he'd come and kick the door down.

I'm okay, Jeongguk hastily replied. Don't get your panties in a twist.

Where WERE you?? I've been worried sick!! Saw you slip out of the party yesterday and couldn't reach you since then.

Jeongguk groaned. This was such a shitshow. Nothing. I was tired and I wanted to go home. Don't worry.

You know you can tell me anything, right?

There's nothing to tell.

There was no message from Eunwoo either, and Jeongguk felt grateful for that, for a quick moment, but the relief didn't last long. It never did.

It was unfair to Eunwoo to keep the charade going. He had his doubts before, but now that he'd kissed another guy, he had no other choice. It wasn't even entirely about Taehyung; he'd tried, and it didn't work, and it wouldn't have even if Taehyung hadn't suddenly turned up in his life.

As it was, his relationship with Eunwoo had been a convenient shield behind which he could hide when Taehyung was being too insistent, his go-to pretense when Taehyung was too damn beautiful.

Look, I'm in a relationship. I'm not in the least attracted to you.

Well. That ship had sailed now, and he needed to come clean.

Ignoring Seokjin who was still ranting, he typed in Eunwoo's text messages window, Could we meet today? I need to talk to you. It was ominous at best, but at least, that way, he would know what was coming.

The answer came almost immediately. Sure?? Are you okay??

Jeongguk bit his lip guiltily. Breaking up never was a fun affair, but breaking up after drunkenly kissing his ex-boyfriend at a party was significantly worse.

Yeah. I just think we need to talk.

Ok... Jeongguk could feel his apprehension through the phone screen. When? Where?

In half an hour, the café down your street?

Ok, Eunwoo replied. See you there.

.

Jeongguk's hands were shaking a bit, holding his cup of coffee, but not as much as Eunwoo's were. He glanced up at Jeongguk, who was quietly watching him and wondering what the hell was wrong with him that he wasn't able to fall in love with such a cute, nice, all-around likable guy.

Eunwoo was always in a good mood, never complaining, and he was obviously head over heels for Jeongguk; so why couldn't he fall for him in return? Why couldn't his heart beat the way it did back in high school, when he caught sight of Taehyung, even from afar, and it brightened his whole day?

Did he lose the ability to feel that way when he lost Taehyung? Or was it because Taehyung had been special? He'd never felt like that before nor since, and not for lack of trying.

Eunwoo sighed. "You're breaking up with me, is that it?"

Jeongguk flinched, suddenly brought back to Earth.

"Yeah," he murmured dejectedly. "I'm sorry, Eunwoo, but..."

"I know," Eunwoo interrupted, staring intently at his cup of coffee. "You don't like me enough."

There was nothing to say to that, and so Jeongguk didn't.

"I'm not blind," Eunwoo continued. "I knew you didn't love me. I thought that maybe, if I were patient enough... and you tried, I know. I saw. You tried to love me, but you couldn't, right?"

Jeongguk stared at him, eyebrows squished together. "I feel awful, because you're an amazing guy, but..."

"Don't feel awful, Jeongguk," Eunwoo said with a sad half-smile. "I knew I was on borrowed time. I don't have any regrets. I tried, and gave my all, and it didn't work out. There's nothing to do about that. If anything, I'm happy you didn't let it go on for too long. Would have been messier if you had."

At least, Eunwoo wasn't crying; all in all, it was going rather smoothly. Jeongguk was about to pay the bill and leave after a last goodbye when Eunwoo stopped him with one last question.

"Hey, Jeongguk? Is it because of Taehyung?"

Jeongguk stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Eunwoo with wide eyes. "What? Why?"

Eunwoo shrugged. "You kept repeating his name in your sleep the last time we spent the night together. Is it because of him? Is he the one you love?"

"He is definitely not the one I love," Jeongguk muttered darkly.

Eunwoo didn't look convinced.

But then, neither was Jeongguk.