SHIVER

Chapter 20 - A Necklace Of Rope

I am getting let out of hospital today. I don't know how long I have been in hospital, I just completely lost track of time. They keep giving me anti-depressents, and if I am still in a bad way they up the dosage. I feel like a lab rat, being tested and prodded at every other moment.

Charlie, Sarah and Joseph have been to visit me, but I don't interact with them. Charlie understands and sits with me in silence. Joseph justs pops in for a few minutes with Sarah, then he leaves to go to the cafe. I don't think he likes hospitals very much. Sarah, however, is a completly different story.

She is constantly chatting, trying to get a response out of me. I don't even acknowledge that she's there, and I think that infuriates her. She doesn't understand though, and I don't think she ever will.

I sit on the bed, hands clasped, patiently waiting. Charlie is coming to take me home. The nurse comes in, slowly explaining to me about my medication. She also tells me I need to regularly visit a therapist. I act like I understand and I will do as I'm told, but I know I wont. Not if my plan works.

Eventually I am taken down in the lift, and I see Charlie waiting for me. My heart melts a little at his perfect features, but I can't let myself get to attached to him again. It will just end badly for the both of us.

The car journey is done in silence, just the way I like it. We pull up to my cottage, and he turns off the engine and looks at me. I glance at him, and he looks so sad it breaks my heart. He sighs, bowing his head a little as he opens his car door. He walks round and opens my door for me. I slowly get up and I hand him the keys. He unlocks my door and we both enter. I slowly flop onto the couch, and Charlie comes and crouches in front of me after placing the keys on my desk.

"Emily," he pauses. "Emily, I don't know what is going on in your head. I probably never will. I understand that talking is not something you want to do. But, I need you to know that your not alone through this. I am here for you, I always will be. So, please, don't do anything... rash."

I just look at him. He sighs and places a hand over his eyes.

"Emily," he says. He sounds as if he is crying. A knot in my stomach forms. "Emily, please. I need you, and I can't bear to think about losing you. You mean everything to me, and I love you with all my heart."

He looks up and I see tears streaming down his face. That is when I notice the ones running down my cheeks. He is making this harder for me to accept that I have nothing to live for. I can't keep living, not like this. He knows I can't, but he wont give up without a fight. I know it's useless, I'm too far gone. If I miss anything, it's my sanity.

Charlie leans forward, taking my face in his hands. He wipes a stray tear from my cheek.

"Emily, please..." he says as he places his lips on mine.

The sensation is wonderful. I feel warm, and I feel like I'm alive again. He kisses me more passionately, and I allow myself to relax. I feel his hands rise, and when they reach my chest I yelp and pull back. I cower away from him, remembering the way that Eric touched me. I begin to sob, and Charlie looks startled. The cold air returns, and I could kick myself for getting caught up in the moment.

"Emily, I'm sorry, I didn't realise.. Oh god what have I done!" He yells as he kicks the coffee table. The glass shatters and he crouches above it, sobbing himself. There is shards of broken glass everywhere.

I see flashes of what happened between me and Eric. With every vision I sob louder.

I know they took my baby. They knew if they didn't I would kill it myself. I still feel violated, and I vomit over the couch. The horrible taste has me gagging again.

"Emily, Emily I'm sorry," Charlie says as he sobs. He approaches me and I scream, before I jump up and run. I grab the keys that he left on the desk next to my door, and I enter his car. I start the engine and I drive out.

Charlie doesn't follow me, I think he feels so terrible about what he did. I think he will blame himself, but I hope he understands that Eric was the one that pushed me to this.

I drive and drive until I end up back at the rocky shore where Eric took me. Ite seemed appropraite. I get out of the car and look in the boot. I know what I need is in here because it's always in cars incase the need to tow another one.

I grab the rope and I run over to the tree that gently rocks with the wind. I don't think as I wrap the rope around the lowest branch which will still do the damage. I poorly knot the noose, but it will have to do. I have been planning this moment since I was rescued from Eric. I knew then that I couldn't live, not after what he did to me.

As I pull over a large piece of driftwood that will hold my weight, I glance at the car park. I see what looks like Sarah's car pull up. I begin to panic as I know that she will try to stop me, and I quickly throw the noose over my kneck.

"I'm sorry Charlie," I whisper as I jump off the driftwood.

I gasp as the air is sucked from my lungs, my vision goes black at the edges. I close my eyes as I wait for the peace that death will bring me. I hear Sarah's yells, too far off for her to save me. I can no longer breathe and I think

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A/N: One more chapter to go guys! What happens next? Will Emily survive? Who knows...

Thank you all for sticking with Emily's story!!

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